I’ve been single for my entire life. I want to know what it feels like to be loved. The youthful college love that The Prince and Me portrayed. With the belief that college boys are more mature compared to high school boys, I did draw a lot of fantasies about relationships when I first arrived at college.
But in reality, there are three types of guys that I’ve encountered here. The first guy is the one who traps me in his “friend zone,” grabs my shoulder, and calls me his “brother,” not a sister but a brother. The second guy is the one who already has an established relationship with his girlfriend back home. And, if he wants something to do with me, it’s gonna be a “one-night thing.” The third one I have a special name for, the “non-guy” or the “friends-with-benefits” guy. With him, you sign an invisible contract of non-commitment. So, it seems like the possibility of me finding a boyfriend here is about equal to the possibility of me becoming valedictorian, even though my GPA and I are both pretty attractive.
And, the real frustration is, we just completed a semester, and I’ve already seen freshmen hold hands across campus.
Maybe, my singleness is due to internal factors instead of external factors. So, what are my problems? Well, maybe I am not acting like a lady. If a guy asks me on a first date, I am not going to order a salad. It will be fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I have no filter, so if he says something against my moral beliefs, my attitude is going to shine like a diamond. I love to call everyone “bro,” and my friends are very important to me. I am the kind of girl who speaks her mind, and if it threatens his masculinity, that’s his problem.
So, what is the solution? The solution is: being single and happy AF. Girl, if you sit here and complain about being single, you are crazy. We are young AF. You are not here to date. You are here to fulfill your potential and be the best version of yourself. This is the place for you to learn so that one day, you can use your skills to change the world. This ain’t a place you go to find a husband. You have a shit ton of work of to do. With approximately fifty pages of reading from all the classes every day, sleeping 8 hours a day is a dream. Also, what about your social life and friends? Freshman year is the time for you to experience college life. There are plenty of things for you to do. Go to discussions, student activities, shows, community events, lectures, etc. Try all the opportunities that Davidson offers, or if you have no plans, get some rest.
To be honest, I found myself conflicted sometimes. There were days that I felt so incomplete. There were days that I was desperate to find someone to complete me. There were days I watched Nicholas Sparks’s movies and wondered, does that kind of love really exist? There were days that I purposely dressed in revealing clothes so I could get a guy’s attention. There were days that my self-esteem crumbled because of a guy. There were days that I wished that I was someone different so I could be attractive to guys.
But, I came to a point when I realized how great my life is. I have great friends and a wonderful family. I don’t have to handle drama from a relationship. I can just focus on myself. I can give my full commitment to the things I love. Most importantly, I can just be me, hot and single AF.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-relationship. I am not saying that relationships in college don’t exist. But for some of us who can’t find a relationship, it might not be the right time. There is someone out there for all of us. You should never feel lonely being single. You’ve never been alone. You have family and friends. These are the people who truly care about you. This Valentine’s Day, if you see other girls receiving flowers, get flowers for yourself. You don’t need anybody to buy you chocolate or flowers. Grab your gals’ hands and go on a date. Watch a movie. Just have fun!
For me, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, especially self-love. Self-love and self-worth should be celebrated. So, this Valentine’s Day, don’t walk too fast to your room right after class to avoid the couples kissing each other. Be happy and treat Valentine’s Day as a celebration of self-love!
Just patiently wait and one day, the one who deserves your precious heart will come.
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