You walk into Summit, the land of caffeine and sweet greatness. Smiling employees and the scent of freshly brewed coffee beans welcome you through the doors. The “javaroma” (Java + aroma) sweeps you off of your feet, and you feel as if you are floating on a caffeine cloud. You stare at the rustic menu on the board, contemplating what delicious beverage will satisfy your craving today. You pull out your punch card and realize it is the glorious time for your free beverage. Which beverage is worthy enough of all nine preceding it? You cannot decide, staring at the menu with heartstrings dangling. The options are limitless: double shots of espresso, almond milk without the extra cost, extra flavor, MORE espresso.
It turns out that your order at Summit says a lot more about you than you might originally realize.
1. Espresso
The person who opts to solely order espresso is a hard-core coffee-lover. This person is hard-working and has a lot of work to do. A rare, yet admirable trait, this person actually likes the taste of coffee. Those who order the double espresso are aware that the one shot just doesn’t do it any longer. The person who orders the triple espresso has probably been awake since the late 80’s and is a tad bit obsessive; his/her blood stream may be replaced with coffee, which can lead to serious health risks. Then there is the dreaded “expresso” orderer. NO. The only thing express about espresso is the caffeine rush. Do they pronounce it like this as a funny joke? Idk. But either way, I hate them. Pronounce it correctly please.
2. Cafe Au Lait
This person usually orders the coffee of the day, but today is feeling a tad spontaneous because of the free drink. She is not willing to give up the amount of coffee for extra milk, such as the latte drinker. However, at the register she thinks, “Today I am a princess. Today I only like steamed milk in my coffee. Today refrigerated milk is just not up to my royal standards.”
3. Latte/ Cappuccino/ Cortado/ Macchiato
While all of these drinks differ in some unknown way to the average Summit customer, they are clustered because of the fact that they have espresso and steamed and/or foam milk of some variety. This person enjoys having foam mustaches during serious chats over coffee and also is intelligent enough to balance the bitterness of espresso with the creamy delight of milk. The person who orders one of these with a flavor shot added to it is probably just enjoying the coffee shop vibes while people watching. She mostly just orders this beverage to mass Snapchat a picture of the milk design on top. This person is just drinking coffee to feel fancy and grown up.
Alternatively, the person who orders this drink with double espresso has some serious shit to get done. This person just hates the taste of espresso alone, so she has to opt to order a specialty drink. This variety of coffee drinker is WAY smarter than the Americano drinker. Who on earth orders watery coffee with their free beverage of choice?
4. Chai Clone
This person claims to love Chai tea because of its health benefits, but mostly just loves ice cream. This is a “treat yo-self moment” for many, but a daily activity for others. This person is energetic and happy, bopping around to everyone at Summit to distract them from doing their work.
5. Premium Mocha (Box Turtle, Rocky Mountain, White Mountain)
This is the coffee drinker with a major sweet tooth, who honestly just wishes for a type of chocolate that can supply their caffeine addiction. The person who orders this is basically looking for dessert in a cup with a shot or two of espresso to get her through the rough day ahead. Also, today she is not the average mocha drinker…she is premium.
6. Smoothie
The person who orders a smoothie may not be in the mood for coffee or may not be a coffee drinker at all. Either way, this person is full of energy and life. She truly enjoys the all-natural ingredients Summit makes their smoothies with. Unfortunately, this person may end up with some remains of the fruit stuck in her teeth, unaware until the cute boy siting across from her points it out.
7. Summit Plunge
This person is not afraid to take a risk or worried about plunging into new and fun opportunities. I once asked a Summit employee what the Summit Plunge actually was, and he replied, “Something with steamed half and half and coffee…so basically the worst thing possible for you.” Anyways, it’s yummy and delicious, and the people who order this are care-free and just excited to get a free coffee.
8. Hot Chocolate
This person is the smartest of them all, because Summit’s hot chocolate is the bomb.com. This chocolate lover does not want the terrible taste of espresso ruining her free beverage. She loves to be cozy and snuggly, and she already has enough energy so caffeine of any sort is not needed. This person could have slipped on ice on a cold winter day or could have just loved chocolate milk as a kid. Either way, if she doesn’t ask for extra whipped cream, something is wrong here.
9. Tea
Summit’s amazing variety of teas inspires tea-lovers all over campus to walk down the hill. This person is relaxed, serene, and cares about the little things in life. Someone who orders tea may be especially connected to nature and enjoy natural flavoring. If it’s not from the earth, she doesn’t want it in her tea bag! She may be using the tea to soothe a sore throat or to inspire her to remove anxiety from her life. Or maybe she just loves tea.
10. Milkshake
This person embraces her love of ice cream and is bold enough to admit she dislikes the taste of coffee in a coffee shop. This person has the right idea and is light-hearted and fun. This person sits in Summit and stares confusedly at the others who are diligently working. Ease up people.
All of these people have one thing in common: their undying love for Summit, one of the greatest places on campus and in town.
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