If you are a college student who has any type of access to social media by this point in the semester you are very familiar with FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), you may even have a self diagnosed case of FOMO, but when you break down what this state of anxiety really is, it’s not something funny to hashtag your friday night tweets with.
The most common definition of FOMO is as follows: ”A form of social anxiety – a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity or satisfying event, often aroused by posts seen on social media websites.”
The Evolutionary biology definition – “an omnipresent anxiety brought on by our cognitive ability to recognize potential opportunities”
and finally, Urban Dictionary: “a state of mental or emotional strain caused by the fear of missing out.”
All together FOMO can be summed up as a state of anxiety, and especially in today’s society, it is often brought on by the things we see on snapchat, or our insta/facebook feeds. Anxiety disorders and mental illnesses in general are heavily romanticized in our culture today, FOMO is just one example among many. Anxiety is portrayed as cute, funny, normal and sometimes as an easy way to attract attention and empathy from others when in reality, anxiety disorders are extremely dangerous. They can lead to anxiety attacks and in serious cases panic attacks, which can potentially lead to hospitalization. According to anxietycentre.com Approximately 40 million adults between the ages of 18 to 54 suffer from an anxiety disorder, but it’s thought that the real number is much higher, closer to 30 percent of the population. Because of how romanticized anxiety disorders are, in combination with the stigma around mental illness, many people who suffer from anxiety don’t seek help, are misdiagnosed, or don’t acknowledge themselves as having issues with anxiety.
Often, FOMO is inspired by social media. We can all plead guilty to seeing a photo of tropical paradise on instagram and wishing we could be laying on the beach instead of sitting in an EBio lecture, but just because your friends all posted the same group pic from that party friday night doesn’t mean it you need to feel anxiety over not attending, or that it was an event to die for, or that everyone is going to remember that you didn’t go. The images we see on social media, even of our closest friends, only reflect a portion of their life. When we start to base our ideal bodies and lifestyles off someone else’s instagram feed we are damaging our mindsets based off of an alternate reality. It is extremely unhealthy to feel inadequate in yourself just because of the way you perceive someone else, and to feel that way based only on what you see via someone’s social media is outrageous. Social media is a platform to share the highlights of our lives, it does not showcase our entire lives, or even the majority of them, so how is it rational in any way to see the photos someone shares to instagram and consider them “goals” we wish to work towards. Getting a case of FOMO anxiety every time you’re unable to attend an event is not normal. We need to recognize the difference between being sad and being anxious.
FOMO Realizations we need to make.
- Being sad and being anxious are two very different things. yes you can be sad you had to work during your sorority formal, but it shouldn’t be causing you to feel stressed or out of control. Feeling sad is normal, it’s healthy and human, but you should not feel anxious or afraid every time you can’t make it to an event.
- If social media causes you to feel unhappy or inadequate with your own life, it’s time to take a break. Social media is not an accurate representation of anyone’s life, so don’t view it as something you should aspire to design your life and your self around. You can feel inspired by someone, but their instagram feed should NOT make you feel inferior and it should not make you feel as if there are things you should be doing just because someone else is.
- You shouldn’t feel guilty about not going to every party over the weekend Yes going out with your girls is fun, but you shouldn’t feel like something is wrong if you have to skip out every once in awhile. Sometimes, you may feel sick, have a test the next morning, or maybe you just don’t feel like going out, and that’s okay! The fear that you’re gonna miss out on your bff’s weekly #fridaynight gram should not be causing you anxiety, and just because you don’t have crazy weekend stories to share on Monday doesn’t make you a boring person in the least. Give yourself a break girl.
- It is not healthy to feel insecure about your friendships We all know how much friend jealousy can sting, but you shouldn’t be losing your mind over your bestie having other friends she spends time with. If you feel jealous and angry every time she goes out without you it’s probably a sign that you are too wrapped up in your friendship. Not spending every weekend together should not be a cause for dismay, try hanging out with the sweet girl you talk to in class, or spend time with one the sorority sister you’ve not gone out with for a while. Complete emotional dependency in any kind of relationship is unhealthy and can be causing you a lot of unnecessary pain.
- Feeling anxious or upset over things out of your control is unnecessary and unhealthy If you get anxious over not being able to attend events because of something like work or school commitments, it’s time to pull out your serenity prayer girl. You cannot function as a mentally and physically healthy human being if you attend every event you can find on the events and parties facebook page while juggling school, a job, a sorority, family, friends, boys, food consumption, sleep(what’s that?), budgeting, and petting every dog you see. Try swapping out your friday night party hopping for some a good night’s rest and some saturday morning vinyasa, and going by yourself, is not something that should stress you out.
So if any of these things sound familiar, it’s time to reorganize your priority list. Focus on the things you can do on your own that make you happy, and start doing them more often! Find new people to spend your time with, call your mom, go take a seat in Farrand Field and pet some dogs. You’re too good for FOMO girl, and if you are struggling with anxiety stand up to FOMO and don’t let symptoms attributed to mental illness be the funny hashtag at the end of someone’s tweet.