When to Text Him First

The situation: You hung out all last weekend, but you haven’t spoken for a week. You’re getting ready to go out on a Saturday night, and you’re curious to see whether he’s going out. Should you text him?
Answer: No. Wait to see if you run into him. If you don’t see him, don’t text him in the middle of the night. You may end up texting something you regret. Anna, 21, says, “I always stop myself from texting anyone when I’m out at night. I regret reading any texts I end up sending from the night before.” Wait until the next day, and then decide if you want to send a casual text.

The situation: You were talking all during the week, but he hasn’t texted you yet for the weekend.
Answer: Yes. If you have been talking during the week, clearly he is interested. It is okay to initiate and show you are equally interested. Dan, 20, says, “I will text a girl when I like her, but I shouldn’t always be the one to text first. I like seeing when a girl texts me first. It shows she has confidence.”

The situation: You used to hang out with this guy all the time but things ended badly. You still want to hang out with him, but he hasn’t contacted you. It is late at night and you’re wondering what he is doing.
Answer: NO! An old flame is never someone to text. Carly, 19, says, “I deleted my ex’s number from my phone. It’s better to not even have the temptation to call him!” Don’t try to rekindle something old, especially if it ended badly. You will definitely regret anything that happened the next morning, and you don’t want to make a complicated relationship even more complicated. You also don’t want to make yourself look stupid by texting him late at night when you both know things are over between you two.

The situation: This is the guy in a class or a club with you that you think is really cute. You have his number from the couple of times you've worked on homework together, but you haven't hung out with him in a social situation yet and would like to. You're wondering whether to text him.
Answer: YES. If you have a specific party, you can definitely text him to let him know about it, or see what his plans are for the weekend. Sara, 18, says "My current boyfriend was in my Spanish class. We always used to do homework together, but I thought he wasn't interested in being anything else. I finally got up the courage to text him to meet up on the weekend, and we really hit it off."

The situation: You met this guy at a party and exchanged numbers. You don't know each other that well, but you would like to get to know him. Is it okay to text him?
Answer: YES. Send something casual the next day, like "It was good to meet you last night" or "Did you have fun at the party?" It's okay to initiate the conversation with someone you don't know that well if you want to further the relationship. Steve, 21, says, "I meet so many new people at parties and it's hard to remember them all. It's really nice when a girl I met the night before will text me to remind me of her. Then I definitely don't forget her."