Cheers to all you lovebirds out there who choose to celebrate your significant other on February 14th. We are immensely happy that you are happy, and wish for your relationship to flourish and to be filled with merriment and adoration. As for the rest of us, let’s just be honest with ourselves for one second. February 14th—Valentine’s day—is a Hallmark Holiday. Advertising agencies everywhere bask in the misinterpreted glory of this holiday trying to make money off of people’s love, when in reality these same people should be celebrating the love they have for one another every single day of the year—not just to remember to do it on this one day out of the 365.
So to all my single ladies out there, remember that the hardest, but most important, part of Valentine’s Day is to love yourself.
All too often society perpetuates these ideas of commitment and relationships as necessary to life itself. Well honey, let me tell you something: there is no other human being in this world that can make your head and your heart love you as much as YOU (besides your mom of course.) We are consumed with these notions that we will die alone if we are not in a committed relationship in our twenties. Valentine’s day comes along, and every social media platform is flooded with pictures of people kissing that celebrates their co-existence. For every photo of a couple that is deemed as “life goals,” we are then punched in the face with a meme that solidifies the idea that if we haven’t found someone yet, we might as well just look into the legalities of owning 75 cats in a one-bedroom house.
Often times, we believe that love is something only others can give us. We cannot and do not want to be responsible for loving ourselves, when we are so convinced that someone else can do it for us. But loving yourself should not, and does not, take time out of your day. We are so busy making lists of things to do. We prioritize schoolwork and spending time with those who make our hearts whole. In those lists however, we forget to remind ourselves to take a minute and love our own bodies, our own minds, our own lives. We spend our days in overdrive, determined to cross everything off of our lists and mark them as completed, but where does that really leave us?
We must not become gripped by the clichés of love. This Valentine’s day, don’t spend all your time on social media comparing yourself to others. Instead, put the phone down. Put the comparisons away. Put your hand to your heart. Listen to it beat. Listen to what it needs—what it craves. What others may have is theirs, but don’t forget about all the things that you as a single, independent woman have for yourself.
If after reading this, you are still convinced that you are going to die alone based on your lonesomeness this Valentine’s day—remember that Jennifer Aniston didn’t get her happy ending with Justin Theroux until she was 46. And that Ellen DeGeneres was 50 years old when she married Portia de Rossi, whom she calls her longtime love. So take a breath, find your center and if nothing else—embody what the great Justin Bieber once said, “oh baby, you should go and love yourself.”
*Mic Drop*