As I scroll through all my social media, I’m seeing a lot of people I went to high school and college with getting married, having kids, buying homes, travelling the world… Everyone’s growing up and that’s great! I am so supportive of all my friends and colleagues achieving different life points and making milestones.
But, for the love of all that is holy, STOP CALLING IT A GENDER REVEAL.
I’m not saying get rid of the event as a whole. They’re so cute! There are so many different themes ways to go about it (like the shotgun couple in the video below or the cute cakes), but it’s NOT a gender reveal.
It’s a sex reveal.
The thing is, times have changed. We no longer categorize gender as what genitalia or chromosome combination your baby has, in addition to what genter they choose to identify as. Instead, the latter is considered gender, and the prior is considered the sex of your kid (if you’re interested in a more recent explanation, check out Raewyn Connell’s 2002 article, Gender). So, basically:
IT’S NOT A GENDER REVEAL Y’ALL.
I don’t know how many times I have to say it. Like, I get that it sounds cooler to say “Gender Reveal” than “Sex Reveal.” But you’re calling it the wrong thing.
There’s tons of literature out there that discusses how purchasing specific colors (like pink for girl and blue for boy) perpetuate gender roles in our society, and I agree with it. I’m not the only one, either: Her Campus at University of Utah wrote an article similar to this one discussing gender stereotyping through gender reveal parties. By participating in so called “gender reveal” parties, we allow an arbitrary color to symbolize an unborn child’s future. Every expectation, every life path, every preconceived notion will be thought the moment that color is seen. It’s a color. We have attached certain ideas to those colors, and the symbolism of it is preposterous.
Do you really need to know the sex of your baby? Obviously, my opinion is that no, you don’t. So many people will say things like, “Oh girls are so cute, you can dress them up!” or “Boys are so easy!” but those things continue to perpetuate the idea that boys and girls aren’t equal.
It’s anti-feminist. It’s anti-egalitarian.
Above all: if you’re worried more about what sex your kid is going to be rather than worrying about his/her educational future under the current Republican regime, maybe it isn’t the right time for you to be a parent.
The important thing is that you’re bringing a human life into the world. A life that will depend on you, love you, and show you things about the world that you didn’t even think was possible or existed. So, sure, have a reveal party. Have a cute cake made, think of an awesome way to reveal the sex of your kid if you want. But remember that it’s a sex reveal party — and the important part is that you’re having a kid.
In fact, I challenge you not to have one, and to not exclusively use pink or blue colors when decorating the nursery or buying clothes. Venture out and use purples, greys, browns, greens, yellows, blacks, reds, or a combination of them! If you want to take it a step further, don’t even request to know the sex of your kid.
Don’t be afraid to go outside the norm, guys. You might be surprised what it’s like when you aren’t boxed in.