*Disclaimer: This article is intended to be relatable to all those 21+ that either live off campus or drink when they are home. Her Campus at CNU does not condone underage drinking, nor breaking Res Life rules. The opinions of this piece are the author’s own, and are not reflective of Her Campus at CNU as a whole.*
Being drunk, in my humble opinion, comes in various stages of intoxication. Here’s a lovely play by play of what it’s like to be a drunk person.
Stage 1) “I don’t wanna get too drunk. I’ve gotta wake up early tomorrow.”
This is the most deceptive phase of drunkness. It’s the kind of drunkness that sneaks up on you. You’re a few drinks in, your body is buzzing, but you still have your senses and are aware that you’ve got obligations the next morning. So when your friends tell you to take another shot, you are hesistant to accept. This is the make it or break it stage. You either stop here, or don’t stop at all until you’re in the bushes puking.
Normally, a small amount of coersion is necessary for you to decide against going to bed early, and instead spend your time taking at LEAST two more vodka shots. That’s when we get to…
Stage 2) “Guys I’m so drunk rn.”
You’re drunk. You’re aware. You want everyone else to be aware.
You find the most decent looking male or female in the room and end up on their lap, or plastered against their chest. “Love meeeee” you say as you cuddle against them for warmth and affection. Then you say…
Stage 3) “Let’s go on an adventure!”
Ah yes. The adventure. This is where sh*t hits the fan. On this adventure you look for a tree to climb, the whisper wall to play in, and sometimes the roof ofa building to smoke on top of if you’re a stoner. You may get stuck in the tree, or have a nearly miss getting caught by a cop along the way, but you’ll have some good ole fun no matter what. That is…until you need to puke.
Stage 4) “I don’t feel good.”
Your friends get quiet because they know it’s that time of night, the time when you need to puke up all that booze you drank and get tucked in to bed. You protest, saying you’re fine and you don’t want to go home, but somehow you’re led to believe your adventure just so happens to be taking you back to your place. And then, inches away from the door, you puke. You puke a lot.
Stage 5) “Dude I threw up a lot.”
Yeah you did, champ. Your friends put you to bed, and make sure you have water, your ID, and your phone next to you. You scroll Yik Yak a bit before falling asleep, probably having weird drunk dreams if you’re anything like me. That next morning you wake up to a killer headache, and a text from the friend that took care of you saying “You alive?” You are. You survived.