Spending the night dancing away (hands flinging crazily over my head, jumping up and down till I can’t breathe) and catching up with my friends at clubs and music gigs is the best way to de-stress after a long and hard week. During this time, I feel truly relaxed, bathing in the ambiance of the music and the company of my friends.
There’s always one draw-back to going out, and this problem isn’t exclusive to me; it’s a prevalent issue to all women. It seems that in this day, a woman warrants unwanted attention from men wherever she goes, whether it be the store, the library, or even just a walk out in the park. And the club is absolutely no exception. I cannot count the number of times my friends and I had been enjoying ourselves on a night out until we were harassed by men who apparently didn’t understand social cues.
They aren’t there to enjoy the music. They’re there to check out girls like creeps and try their luck at getting laid. I know exactly how the story unfolds.
He’s standing still, right there in the middle of the dancing crowd, staring right at you and hoping to get your attention. If you ignore him, he’ll squeeze through the crowd and stand 3 inches to your side until you eventually turn around. If you choose to avoid eye-contact, he’ll lean forward and ask you some dumb question.
“Where are you from?”“California.”“No, where are you from? Like which country are your parents from?”
Unfortunately, this is not just some sick joke. Men like this somehow arrive to the conclusion that it’s okay and not at all inappropriate to stare at a woman non-stop for twenty minutes. They choose not to take the hint when you avoid eye-contact, and instead initiate conversation, expecting you to respond as if you owe them a response. And the first thought of an appropriate conversation starter topic is your race, which is not only ignorant but extremely annoying.
Here is a list of characteristics that club/bar creeps may also demonstrate.
1. When he first speaks to you, he asks a question about “where you’re from”
2. He tries to grind against you immediately after initiating contact
3. He insists that he buy you a drink, even if you decline
4. He gets handsy, even after you’ve told him to stop
5. He makes misogynistic jokes to you, or with his friends
Ladies, if you encounter a man like this at the club, your best bet is to walk away. If he tries to follow and continue talking to you, pretend like he doesn’t exist. Literally stare right through him and continue talking to your friends as if there’s no one there. Don’t respond to him, as it will encourage him to keep his face hole running. Eventually he will slink away with his hurt ego and stop wasting your time.