Remember the time when meeting the parents before going on the first date was a thing, getting dressed up and going out was preferred over “Netflix and Chill,” receiving a note that said “do you like me…check one” and your options were yes or no, or a guy actually talked to you when he liked you instead of sliding in the DM’s? Yeah, neither do I; because the Millennials and Generation Z have decided that a like on Instagram, swiping right on Tinder and FaceTime are the best ways to communicate that you’re into someone. “Talking” is another way to say y’all date, but not really because dating seems like a lost art.
So, what’s happened to the art of dating?
If you’re on the outside looking in, this is obviously a problem that the guys need to be fixing, quick and in a hurry. However, ladies, this is our fault too! According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of unmarried people has drastically increased from 37.3 million to 121.5 million from the 1950’s to 2015.
This number is so large, and continues to grow, because we females have deemed it okay to have a guy do the least to make us the happiest. The real question at hand: why have we allowed this trend to occur? Here are a few things that we, as women, do in a relationship that has changed the game for the worse and how to fix it so we can get back to the true art of dating:
What we do: Tell our significant others that a night in, cuddled up with a good movie and pizza, is “the way to our hearts”.
What we need to do: STOP SAYING THAT! Sure, staying in and not having to endure the long process that is getting ready is nice every now and then, but if you tell them that staying in is what you like early on, that’s all y’all will do. Guys can be simple minded. They’ll think they’re making you happy but, in reality, you’re bored with staying in and you’re ready to try that new Fenty makeup line with that little black dress.
What we do: Bring past relationships into the next one. We do this whether the past relationship was a good one that ended badly, or one that never should have started to begin with.
What we need to do: Start with a clean slate. Everybody is different so every relationship is going to be different. People tend not to try as hard if they’re always being compared to someone else or they try too hard and get the label of being clingy. Neither being ideal in a healthy relationship.
What we do: Say we don’t want something when we really do and get mad when our significant other can’t tell the difference.
What we need to do: Make up our minds on what we really want AND express those wants clearly. Unless your significant other has some superhuman power, they can’t read your mind so stop expecting them to. Ladies, guys get tired of trying to figure out what you want and because we continued to be indecisive they, along the way, stopped trying.
I salute the Romeos going out of their away, against the new societal norms to make sure their Juliet is truly happy in the relationship. However, saluting those rare gems doesn’t mean I blame the rest of the male population, nor does it mean I condone the behavior of men that treat women terribly in a relationship. Though we can all step up our dating game to make sure each person involved is happy and respected, we females need to do a little self-reflection. Stop buying cats and saying I’m forever alone and start changing the way you approach a new relationship or a situation in a current relationship.