In October of my freshman year, I thought I had hit the jackpot! After weeks of searching I had found my college best friend. It was like something out of a movie. We had so much in common and loved to hang out; it was a match made in heaven. We were absolutely inseparable that entire year. I had so much fun with her that I stopped hanging out with my other friends. When we came back for Sophomore year it was like the dream team was reunited! I couldn’t have been happier, but things were different. She spent more time at home during the semester and suddenly we went from basically living together to not seeing each other at all. That’s when I found out she was planning on transferring schools. My heart hurt. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t supportive of her decision for purely selfish reasons. When I came back for the second semester of that year without her, I felt lost. I didn’t know how to go on. Now in my last semester of college, I think about the amazing three semesters we had here at Clark. We are still friends, but I found ways to cope with losing my best friend at college. These are my top tips!
1. Be supportive but honest
I failed at both of these things when my best friend transferred. I wasn’t supportive of her decision because I was the one being left behind, friendless. I also wasn’t honest. I should have told her that her decision to leave Clark broke my heart. She would have understood. There is a way to be honest about your pain while supporting your friend. You have to find that balance.
2. Get out there
When my friend transferred, I found myself wanting to Facetime and text her all the time. I missed her. Although you can still be best friends with someone that transfers, you cannot lock yourself in your room to virtually hang out with them 24/7. You have to get out on campus to meet people. I found myself getting a lot closer with my roommates and people in the various clubs I was apart of. I was working to find my new home on campus.
3. Don’t be afraid to be alone
Being on campus without my best friend was terrible. Every time I needed to eat alone or do anything alone, I felt like a loser. I felt like there was a big sign on my back that said friendless. In reality, I had plenty of other friends on campus. It’s normal to be alone through parts of your day, especially at college. Don’t feel like you have to cling to your friends to make yourself feel better. It’s okay to be alone sometimes.
4. Don’t be jealous
When my friend transferred, suddenly my Instagram feed was flooded with her new life. She joined a sorority which is something I couldn’t do, and she was making all these new connections. I felt jealous. I thought I was being replaced. That’s just not true. Of course she was bound to make new friends and start a new life, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a part of her life still. We were and will always be friends.
When your friend transfers, it can feel like your life is falling apart. Follow these tips to help deal with the things you’re feeling. I have managed to thrive and be happy on campus without my best friend being here. I miss her terribly, especially when the bagel brunches roll around, but I have also found many ways to be happy here without her being on campus.
Just remember: “together forever, never apart, maybe in distance, but never at heart”- Anonymous