Late hours, stacks of papers and books, and coffee—lots of coffee. This sounds like a pretty typical night for most college kids, especially during finals—but for me, my nights consist of bottles of milk, dirty diapers and endless bedtime stories while my essay sits half finished on my open laptop. I have yet to even open my textbook yet to study for that morning exam. Sounds crazy right? That is the life of a young mother in college.
I am a second year photojournalism major, but more importantly, I’m the mother of identical twin boys. I had my sons right after my 20th birthday. I wasn’t in college when I had them. I had scholarships to three different colleges my senior year of high school, but my parents made too much money for me to get any grants. As the oldest of seven kids, it was hard for me because, even with the scholarships and student loans, my parents couldn’t make up the difference. So I took some time off and got a job and tried to save up. That goal was easier said than done. With no real responsibilities, I blew all the money I made on anything and everything I wanted. Soon college didn’t even cross my mind anymore.
I spent a lot of my time hanging out with friends and partying when I wasn’t working. I continued my relationship with my high school sweetheart as well and we were sexually active. We used protection most of the time, but I was never on birth control. I had been out of high school for a year when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared and had no idea what I was going to do. It was even more of a shock to learn that I was having twins, on top of everything. To make matters worse, my boyfriend and I were having problems, and we split up for the first few months of my pregnancy.
I was alone: fighting with my parents and clueless about how to take care of two babies. I found myself crying for hours at a time. I loved the little bundles growing inside me, but I was terrified at what kind of life I was bringing them into. It took some time, but my boyfriend and I finally got back together and I moved in with him and his parents after my dad kicked me out. Life was tense for a long time. We both got mixed signals from our friends and our families. For a long time, our friends thought we didn’t belong together, and, at one point, neither did our parents. It was a stressful situation. To add to the already-tense circumstances, I went into labor ten weeks early.
It was the scariest thing I have ever experienced. The boys were nowhere near ready to be born. Thankfully, the hospital was able to stop my labor and gave me some steroids to help further develop the boys’ lungs. I spent the next week and a half in the hospital on bed rest. During that time, all the stress from before seemed to disappear. My boyfriend never left my side, and our families were right there supporting us. All the fighting had stopped. Our friends even spent nights and days with us at the hospital.
The boys were born two days after my 20th birthday and it was the happiest day of my life. The boys were still nine weeks premature, though, and spent the next two months in the neonatal intensive care unit at the University of Cincinnati Hospital. Those two months were the longest and hardest ever. I was at the hospital every day, talking to them and holding them every chance I was given. It was in those two months that I decided I needed to do more with my life.
I had already quit the part-time job I was working so I could be home when the boys were finally released from the hospital. It was definitely a learning curve when they first came home. There were countless long, sleepless nights. We had a lot of help, though, and after a few months, we were stable and finally had the hang of it. I was able to start working again and picked up a few part-time jobs, but I knew part-time wasn’t going to cut it forever. Living with my in-laws wasn’t the easiest arrangement.
After the boys’ first birthday, I managed to land a full-time job at a call center, and we were finally able to put money away. Although I loved my new job, it wasn’t the career I wanted. All I could think about was giving my kids a better life. So, I decided it was time to go back to college.
I started at the University of Cincinnati in August 2013 and we finally moved into our own apartment that October. That first semester being back in school was definitely a challenge. I went to class three days a week on top of working 40 hours a week at my job, plus having two toddlers at home. I did most of my studying during nap times, and I remember taking my books with me to work to do my homework on my lunch break. I worked second shift, which made it hard to spend a lot of time with my kids. I would be at school in the morning and go to work right after on most days. I’ll confess, I definitely procrastinated on some assignments just so I could spend a few hours watching Mickey Mouse with my boys and playing with blocks and toy cars. It was a difficult experience, but every time I tucked my boys in at night and kissed their little foreheads, I knew what I was doing was worth it. I even managed to make the Dean’s List that semester.
I’m still here pushing forward with my education. I have another two years minimum left to go, and I have the full support of my loving boyfriend and my wonderful family behind me. My sons will be turning three in four months and they are anxious to go to school like mommy. I still have piles of papers on top of unopened textbooks, and I keep my pantry fully supplied with coffee for those late nights. But I also have piles of laundry, stacks of bills, and two beautiful children who make it worth every second.
My life is full of glorious chaos. I’ve tripped over more hot wheels than I can count. I’ve gone days with only two or three hours of sleep, and I have caught myself singing nursery rhymes in the shower. It’s not easy being a full time student, full-time employee, and a full-time mother of two, but I make it work. No sacrifice is too big for my little guys. If there is one thing I know for sure, it is that no matter what I accomplish in school or in my career, my little boys will always be my greatest accomplishment.