I’m not a sharer. When I do things, especially if I’m doing something just for me, I generally don’t tell people about it. So when people find out that I’ve been sans meat for over four years now, they’re genuinely shocked. I imagine that it’s like a scene from a movie when realization hits and all of the times I’ve eaten with them come together before their eyes to show that they’ve never seen me eat chicken. These moments have happened more than a few times over the years, yet the reactions are very similar. Though I’ve had some nonchalant responses of “cool” or “For how long?” I’ve also had some possibly good intentioned comments that are… not needed at best.
1. “You don’t eat meat? That’s crazy; I love hunting with my family.”
Though I find people who hunt and use all parts of the animal pretty admirable, I wouldn’t lead with this. There is no correlation between my diet and what you do in your free time.
2. “You don’t eat meat? Oh, I love [insert favorite meat here] too much to do that.”
I get it. You can’t be a vegetarian because bacon. You’re very original.
3. “So you can’t eat chicken, right?”
My eye twitches when people say, “can’t.” It’s not like I subscribed to a secret society where someone’s looking over my shoulder. This isn’t Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. There are not vegan or vegetarian police. I choose to eat or not eat things.
4. “You should meet Carol from accounting. She’s a vegetarian too.”
That’s really great, and I see what you’re doing there, but vegetarianism is very common nowadays. I meet a handful of vegetarians everywhere I go. Sometimes I meet them while looking at Morning Star packages in the grocery store. All in all, I would love to meet your friend, but food choice maybe isn’t a common enough ground.
5. “I was a vegetarian once… for 3 hours.”
Look pal, your 3-hour adventure with vegetarianism that ended with you losing a standoff with a corndog would make me LOL if I hadn’t heard it a thousand times before. If you need some tips, hit me up. Otherwise, you’re kind of just making my choice not to eat meat too trivial to withstand basic carnival food.
Have you ever heard these? Have you heard one not on this list? Comment below!