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Are You In An Abusive or Unhealthy Relationship?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Chapel Hill chapter.

Abusive relationships happen on college campuses too. According to loveisrespect.org, 43 percent of college women experience violence and abusive dating behaviors. Unfortunately, abuse happens and not always to women either. The line between an abusive, unhealthy and healthy relationship can often be a blurry one. An abusive relationship can range from physical violence to one partner controlling all the decisions in the relationship.

Below are 15 circumstances that might not appear abusive on the surface, but are considered part of an abusive and/or unhealthy relationship.

  1. Does your partner control who you spend time with?

  2. Does he or she give you the silent treatment as a form of punishment?

  3. Does your partner transfer into your classes to monitor them?

  4. Guilt trip you for causing any relationship problems?

  5. Make accusations of cheating?

  6. Monitor your phone, e-mail or other social media accounts?

  7. Threaten to commit suicide if you end the relationship?

  8. Determine what clothes or activities you wear or do?

  9. Use drugs or alcohol to get sex?

  10. Check on your grades without permission?

  11. Make fun of your weight, hair, clothes, classes, etc.?

  12. Pressure you to choose between him/ her and your friends or family?

  13. Compare you to past partners?

  14. Flirt with others to make you feel inadequate?

  15. Does your partner make all the decisions in the relationship?

58 percent of college students say they do not know how to help a victim of dating abuse and 38 percent say they do not know how to get help for themselves if they were a victim, according to loveisrespect.org. If any of these apply to you or a friend Safe@UNC is a great resource for additional help or information. UNC and Chapel Hill have many other great resources such as Orange County Rape Crisis Center, Women’s Center, Compass and University Health Services. Everyone deserves to be in a healthy and supportive relationship and if you or a friend isn’t, help is only a phone call or email away.