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7 Stages of Breaking Up

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Chapel Hill chapter.

Breaking up is hard to do. It may seem like just a simple lyric from an old classic song, but when it’s happening to you, it has a completely different meaning. For some it means crying your eyes out, for others it means blasting Taylor Swift full volume. For everyone though, it’s a process of picking up the pieces and learning how to move on. Here are the 7 stages of breaking up and eventually getting over your ex!

7. Shock

Let’s be real, breaking up hurts, so it only makes sense that your body would go into autopilot mode afterwards. Thinking about the future is just too hard and right now, you just don’t want to deal. That’s completely normal, but just remember, don’t go full on Bella Swan about it.  

6. Denial

After you come out of your state of disbelief, it’s still hard to process all of your feelings. You may even find yourself rejecting reality. Better to act like it never happened than to deal with all the emotions you’re left with. Eventually though, you will have to face those feelings you’ve been bottling up inside.

5. Sadness

Once you’ve finally come to terms with the breakup, you’re no doubt going to feel some grief. Breaking up is almost like mourning a loss in that you say goodbye to someone who’s been a significant part of your life. During this time it’s totally acceptable to throw on some comfy clothes, grab a box of chocolates and watch a sappy rom-com.

4. Anger

Once you’ve gotten out of your funk of wet eyes and used tissues, eventually you might begin to feel some resentment towards your ex. Don’t go all Kelly Clarkson and trash his house, but let your frustrations out in a positive way. Accessing those emotions and expressing them is all part of the healing process and it can even be empowering. You’re one step closer to getting over it and finally moving on!  

3. Isolation

When you finally get all those thoughts and feelings out in the open, you may need some time alone to process. Your relationship was a significant part of your life, no doubt, so use this time to reevaluate where you’re going to go from here.

2. Acceptance

Once you’ve come to terms with your breakup and your feelings, you can finally start to appreciate your newfound singleness for what it’s worth. Sure, you may not be in a relationship anymore, but that’s okay! Accept it for what it was worth and move on. You’re better off now anyways.

1. Happiness

Rest assured, there is light at the end of the breakup tunnel! It may not be in another relationship, it could just be contentment with yourself, but one day or another you will find happiness again! It may take a while; it may not take long at all, just remember to surround yourself with positivity. You are special and unique and you deserve better.

Well said Dumbledore! We couldn’t agree more.

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Kelsie Gibson

Chapel Hill

Kelsie Gibson is a senior Communication Studies major at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She is from Kannapolis, NC. She is a member of Phi Beta Chi sorority. She loves to sing, act, write, and spend time with family and friends.