So, let me guess: You’re one of the good guys? And what else? Is it not working out too well for you?
Dear Good Guys,
We often hear a lot of you complain about how the “good guys finish last,” and quite frankly, us women are tired of hearing it. I’m well aware that there are many women, especially in this day and age, who are lost and blinded. You’ve probably been attracted to women who deal with men for all the wrong reasons, whether it be for money, sex, false love, etc. I know that whether or not they get treated right in the process doesn’t seem to matter too much to them, as long as they get what they think they need. We know that these women often end up getting played by men, but those aren’t the women we’re focusing on. We’re gonna focus on the women who are aware of their worth and only want the best for theirselves.
Yes, we get it.
“Women push the good guys away.”
“When they have someone good, they don’t know how to accept it.”
I promise we hear you but in many ways, being a good guy just isn’t enough for us.
Prior to transferring to Clark Atlanta University, I’d already experienced the pain of being cheated on, neglected, and heartbroken. Although I’ve danced with the devil, I’ve also experienced the love of a good man. For years, I was treated like a queen by a man who honored me in every way imaginable. I’ve experienced the countless dates, random gifts, and surprise pop-up’s at my job. I know all about the “good guy”, plus more, so what exactly can you offer me that I haven’t already experienced? My standards are high because they’ve been raised. I wouldn’t say that I’m completely grown, but I’m grown enough to know what I want in a man and to confidently say that your “good” may not be good enough for me nor many women alike.
Just because a girl curves you doesn’t mean that she can’t appreciate a good man. There’s so many reasons as to why she may not have been interested. Many reasons could be superficial, but that’s the reality. One boiling down to the mere fact that you simply aren’t her cup of tea. Is it so wrong for a woman to turn down someone for not necessarily being the kind of man she’s drawn to? Maybe she likes guys who dress a certain way, who’re fitness savvy, or are artistic. I’m very down-to-earth and I have close male friends who live certain lifestyles or are interested in things that I wouldn’t want to deal with if we were to ever be in a relationship. I still believe they’re good men, but since there is little common interest, it would be difficult for me to remain romantically interested and to maintain a healthy relationship. You never know what it may be. Her disinterest in you doesn’t make you any less of a good guy and it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t recognize it in you.
Upgrading is key. You should always feel that your next is better than your last. We’re coming of age now. Things that weren’t important in our earlier years of dating may be a requirement now. If a woman only wants to date someone with a car, a job, financial literacy, a relationship with God, or anything else along those lines, there is nothing wrong with those standards. If she is able to pinpoint exactly what she wants or needs in a potential partner, then she has every right to only seek out or accept someone who can offer those things to her without anyone claiming her standards should be lowered.
We know that a lot of guys are dogs, as well there are many great men out there (somewhere, lol) in the world. Although we say the little things count, such as sending daily “good morning beautiful” texts, a text doesn’t set you apart from the others. Often times that could be enough, but she may have recieved the same texts from two other guys. The older we get, the more expectations a woman has in a love interest. Don’t be too confident in your efforts because there may be someone who’s trying a little bit harder with a little more to offer.
For the women reading this letter, please note that your high standards are respected, but please have something to bring to the table as well. Both parties should be able to enhance the other in all fields: mentally, spiritually, romantically, and financially. Make it a challenge that who you are always matches your standards. If it doesn’t, understand that there is room for personal growth.
Sincerely,