*SPOILER ALERT. There are mentions of the plot in this post.*
As most of us may know, 50 Shades of Grey is being released in theaters on Valentine’s Day this year. I am a passionate romantic. I disagree with this release date whole-heartedly and I would like to express why. I’ve seen countless tweets displaying excitement for this. After all, most romance movie enthusiasts get excited for the feature Valentine’s Day release and with this one being hyped up with a soundtrack of hits by Beyoncé and The Weeknd- I don’t blame them one bit.
What I have a problem with is not the novel, or the movie, but the release date and the messages it sends. I understand that this is the release date that would bring in the most revenue for the box office, but I don’t agree with it. The story is primarily about sex, and a non-reciprocated love. This is the problem. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about celebrating love and friendship. Not only romantic love, but also the love shared between families and friends – think back to Valentine grams, cards and candy in elementary school. We saw more of this kind of love on Valentine’s Day when we were younger. The media portrays Valentine’s Day as primarily romantic love. Romance is supposed to be about the best kind of love. Selfless, compromising, heart-wrenching, passionate, sweet love. But no matter what kind, love should be the glue that ties soul-mates, friends and families together. This is the kind of love that we should be featuring on Valentine’s Day. What ties Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey together is a contract (and sometimes a grey neck tie).
I know what many of you are thinking: Ana never actually signs the “contract” in the novel, but it is the rules laid out in the “contract” that are followed throughout the entire story, and they are repeatedly reinforced by Christian. What kind of first date begins with being forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement of their sex lives anyways? I guess the answer to this question would be; the kind that you have with a twisted, controlling masochist. (He also frequently displays stalker-ish tendencies and only allows her to eat specific food off of a hand-picked list). He outright tells her that he doesn’t make love, but “f*cks” instead, asks her to “surrender herself to him”, outlining that she will be “punished” if she even goes so far as to roll her eyes. Christian wants a BDSM (bondage dominance submission masochism) relationship where he can get off by controlling her, and she will be “happy” by pleasing him with her submission. The “sub” submits to every need and want that the “dom” has. The mere discussion of this leaves Ana crying herself to sleep that night – the first of many.
As their dysfunctional and abusive relationship progresses, Christian starts to steer slightly away from his contract. This gives Ana hope as she finds herself falling for him and his softer side. Unfortunately, this hope is not enough. Christian Grey reinforces the rules of the contract and continues to use his dominance over her, without letting her so much as touch him. Ana has found herself crying herself to sleep at night frequently now, wondering how she got herself in this relationship in the first place. He even goes so far as to have her followed when she leaves town to visit her mom… Let’s face it: the man has serious issues. The novel continues with Ana begging him to veer away from the contract, as she has fallen in love with him and wants a normal relationship. He doesn’t budge and she continues to try to change herself for him, even though it upsets her. After a particularly consensual beating that she thought she could take, she feels shocked, hurt and broken-hearted that the man she loves could do that to her. The story ends with her confessing her love to him, and when it is not reciprocated, she leaves, climbs into her bed, and cries.
Seeing new, romantic movies around Valentine’s Day has become an annual tradition for girlfriends, and couples everywhere, myself included. Last year it was Endless Love, the year before was Safe Haven and in 2012 it was The Vow. The movie that gets released during the week of Valentine’s Day is the movie that is supposed to be the epitome of romance for the whole year. Young girls get excited to see the latest, must-see, romantic hit at this time. Most of these girls are just discovering the world of love, romance, and sex. 50 Shades of Grey sends the wrong message. There is nothing romantic about it. We SHOULD NOT be showing young girls that love is what they will see in the movie. We SHOULD NOT be showing girls that sex or men come first, or that changing yourself for a guy while it upsets you is healthy, or that continuously crying yourself to sleep at night over him is okay.
The romantic movie released around Valentine’s Day is supposed to show us the meaning of love. The best kind of love, falling in love for the first time, or growing old with your soul-mate, or risking it all for the one you love. We should encourage movies that can help to empower women of all ages, teaching them to respect themselves, their values, their bodies and each other. We should be encouraging a Valentine’s Day movie that exhibits healthy relationships, and shows us the best kinds of love, rather than the painful aftermath of lust.
Picture Sources:
http://barongs.net/valentine-day-worksheets-for-kids
http://www.beautyriot.com/makeup-beauty/worst-valentines-day-gifts-g9941
http://fightthenewdrug.org/fifty-shades-of-grey-why-were-not-cool-with-it-and-why-you-shouldnt-be-either/#sthash.yBNUhvab.dpbshttps://bookinthebag.wordpress.com/2013/04/01/book-review-50-shades-of-grey-by-e-l-james/