If you Google “tantric sex”, here’s what you get:
“Tantric Sex: The Key to Mind-Blowing Sex With The One You Love” –Best Health Mag
“Tantric Sex Moves You Can Try Right Now” -Bustle
“Tantric Sex: Your Need To Know Guide For Mind Blowing Orgasms” –Marie Claire
Notice something these articles have in common? They’re all about sex, of course! But here’s the funny thing: tantric sex isn’t really about having the best sex of your life. In fact, tantric sex isn’t about sex at all. It’s about something much more powerful. Let’s break it down real quick.
The word “tantra” is a Hindu word that means “technique”. It simply describes the way you do something in order to reach enlightenment, nirvana or oneness with the universe—aka with Brahman, which is the universal force from which everything comes and everything returns. We can reach that place of blissful unity through tantric yoga, tantric meditation and, most commonly popularized in the west, tantric sex.
Tantric sex is about melding yourself with your partner to become one and experience that higher dimension of singularity. You may ask, “But how is this different from conventional sex?” Great question!
The goal of tantric sex is actually non-sexual. The point is not to orgasm or to fulfill some aching sexual desire, but to experience that oneness with Brahman. Achieving that singularity with the universe is the goal of all tantric exercises as well as the basis of Hinduism. Unfortunately, the West has severely overly-sexualized tantric sex. Pop magazines often perpetuate tantric sex as “best sex you’ll ever have”. They endorse sexual positions designed to get you closer to enlightenment. They emphasize slow, sensual kisses. They suggest creating sacred spaces. Sure, these actions can be helpful and exciting, but the goal of tantric sex isn’t the sex itself nor the accessories surrounding it. It’s about merging with the universe!
Real tantric sex is about losing the duality between yourself, your partner and the universe. The Western interpretation of tantric sex emphasizes powerful orgasms and foreplay. The Western emphasis is rather individualistic, whereas traditional tantric sex is about oneness. With all these tips, tricks and shortcuts touted by western magazines, it’s important to understand that there are no shortcuts to achieving oneness through any sort of tantric practice. It happens when it happens.
So the next time you want to give tantric sex a try, please remember that it isn’t a shortcut to the best orgasm you’ll have, but rather a portal into something even better.