If you were anything like me, leaving for home was one of the worst experiences of my life. I remember around December of my senior year in high school, I was sitting in my kitchen talking to my mom, suddenly bursting into tears at the fear of being on my own 3,000 miles away and completely on my own. What if I got into a car accident, or was audited for something, or ran out of money because California is so damn expensive, what if my grades started to slip and Cal Poly kicked me out and I had forgotten to pay my taxes so the IRS took all my money, furniture, and call phone and I was living on the streets and I couldn’t even call home?! I realize I’m a bit of a worrier… BUT it wasn’t in vain. Living on your own IS hard, and there are a lot of awkward, confusing, and weird things I (and everyone else) confronted my freshman year. Here’s why, no matter what you do, everyone hates their freshman year at Poly (and what you can do about it).
Leaving your parents is harder than you think.
Most of the time, leaving home is liberating. Yes, you are free to do whatever you please, anytime you please, where you please. Within reason. Even if you don’t have a solid relationship with your parents or guardians, not having someone to fall back on is a hard thing to get used to. You’re parents can be the rock you never knew you needed until you run out of kuerig coffee and ramen noodles. Being a phone call away can still feel so far away.
Roommates.
Living with people you barely (or not at all) know and getting along is a rare thing for a reason. Your roommate in the dorms is a completely different person who grew up with different parents, with a different personality, different morals, in a different place; you won’t get along all the time. Especially if you lucked out with getting the snooping roommates (see gif above). Finding those boundaries for each other can also be a harrowing task, where you may have to tiptoe around them at certain times, and won’t compromise at others. It will be awkward to ask about money, it will be awkward to ask them do their dishes or clean their side of the room or not go through your stuff. Or to not be naked while your friends come over and bend over to pick up underwear and tabs of acid from the floor. I dunno. Be prepared.
You probably won’t party as much as you think.
Unless you go out during WOW and actively look for Frats throwing parties, you won’t be invited from the get go. Even as you start to get to know people with houses and apartments, Saturday and Sunday nights will probably be filled with studying and relaxing. After a crazy week of staying up till 2 am studying, getting up to work or go to class the next day, *maybe* power-napping at 2pm, and repeating the whole process, going to bed early or staying in to watch a movie might begin to feel like a better idea…
And if you do party that much, your grades will slip.
Weekends are like free days with tons of time to study and get caught up. Spending all of Saturday hungover and Sunday trying to cram for the next week of quizzes and tests will take a toll of your grades. If your grades don’t slip, your energy, patience, and psyche will take the toll. Grades are, unfortunately, one of the most important things here at Cal Poly, and your GPA is gold. Everyone hates their freshman year because they most likely don’t do as well academically as they would like because college isn’t just about learning from the books anymore; it’s learning much more difficult material from the books, and how to function as an adult, and how to balance work, life, and friends on a whole ‘nother level.
Campus food sucks.
Ain’t that the f*cking truth. While I can say my hardest year in college was my sophomore year (because of a major relapse with my eating disorder), the foundation for that was set by eating the only thing available to me – poorly made junk food with little to no nutritional value. There is only so many burrito bowls, boxes of pasta, and take out chinese food you can eat; it’s very easy to let nutrition and portions go out the window when everyday feels like you need to treat-yo-self. The weight you gain? That doesn’t matter. Love and appreciate yourself in all your forms. But listen to what your body is telling you – freshman year often sucks because you don’t take note of how sluggish, upset, and gorged you may feel from the mounds of rigatoni you eat out of stress.
You probably won’t meet the love of your life.
You’re suppose to get engaged by junior year, married after you graduate, and live happily ever after, right? That’s what my parents did. Thank you WOW, for being the ultimate speed dating week. I came to Cal Poly expecting the same, only to find that most people don’t want to settle down in a serious, long term relationship, and depending on where you meet them (ahem, ahem, bars downtown and house parties) they may only want to hook up. A lot of people don’t date at all their entire four years. I look back now and think “that’s totally fine, it’s even less stress when you don’t have to deal with the mess that relationships are”, but just like dating is hard, not finding “the one” can be just as harrowing. Don’t fret. This is the perfect time to center around yourself, how you can be a better person, and what your future is going to look like.
If you don’t take care of yourself, no one will.
It’s 3:30 am, you’ve finished your paper due at 7 am, and despite being up since 6 am the previous morning, you’re wide awake. Do you stay up till 7 am to turn your paper in? Was 7 cups of coffee too much for one day? Did you eat at all? When was the last time you showered? Are you showered too much? Listen, it seems like these are things you get a grip on in middle school, but college turns into a strange vortex of backwards thinking, when all you know is how to spot a red herring fallacy in an argument and that you’ve used it with your mother and that damn Cal Poly login fiasco too many times (the login in is in your texts, mom JUST SCROLL UP I WILL NOT SEND IT AGAIN). No one is there to wake up and take you back to bed, make your coffee in the morning, or rub your back when all you can do is cry from the stress. *See #1 again*
Dealing with paperwork, administration, leases, and basically everything official.
Is it just me, or did everyone have trouble filling out paperwork? I still feel completely unsure of myself when I fill out dental paperwork on the first visit. Who is my emergency contact (does my boss count?), what is my parent’s insurance information, what is MY insurance information and social security number, have I ever had a heart attack, am I currently pregnant, have I ever unexpectedly died for no reason or cause?! I DON’T KNOW OKAY. Nothing will make your question your life more than filling out administrative paperwork.
Getting through freshman year is almost a rite of passage into college-dom. It sucks for everyone in different ways; some may lose friends, their grades may slip, they may miss home more than anything and take every weekend to visit, who knows. Everyone deals with it in a different way and that’s completely fine. The best thing to do is be there for one another, always invite your neighbors to dinner, and talk. Call your parents or guardians, study hard, make it through. Just know everyone hates their freshman year. EVERYONE.