1. Oh my god, the smell.
2. I can literally smell how awful it is, even from outside.
3. Can someone please explain to me why there are turnstiles to enter? This is certainly not Disneyland.
4. So which of these foods won’t kill me?
5. *Sees length of lines* K, bye.
6. Maybe I’ll just get one of these heathy pita things today.
7. Or this parfait. Everybody loves parfait.
8. Just kidding, I’ll probably starve if I try to eat healthy.
9. Bring on the freshmen fifteen!
10. Why can’t they always serve breakfast here?
11. Let’s be real, I try to stay awake till midnight to get those tasty breakfast potatoes but I never make it.
12. So the Asian food is definitely out. I will never trust the orange chicken again after last week’s experience.
13. Oh no, there’s a cute guy working at the sandwich place.
14. I guess I can’t get a sandwich because I came here looking like a troll doll.
15. I refuse to order a sandwich from the cute guy while wearing my Cal Poly sweatpants.
16. I really should have brushed my hair.
17. I am the troll of VG’s.
18. Wow, it’s hot in here.
19. Maybe I’ll get a salad today. Pshh, like that will happen.
20. I already had pasta today at Metro, and *Chris Traiger voice* it’s literally the same pasta as VG’s and Ciao.
21. Mexican food is never an option. That is not Mexican food. Have you even been to Southern California?
22. I’ll just resign myself to eating sub-par, overpriced American food.
23. Did I mention it’s really warm in here?
24. Maybe I should start carrying Sriracha with me for these exact situations. Sriracha fixes everything.
25. Ugh, thank Bey for these grilled cheeses. I can handle ordering a grilled cheese.
26. I also totally pretend to hate VG’s fries, but I secretly love them.
27. Yes, my order is placed. I’m almost done. I will be out of this god-forsaken building soon.
28. Thank you, VG’s music guru for playing Vanessa Carlton. She is a woman after my own heart.
29. “STARING BLANKLY AHEAD, MAKING MY WAY, MAKING MY WAY, THROUGH THE CROWD! BAH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH!”
30. Did I accidentally just sing that out loud?
31. Oh no, that friendly girl from my COMS class last quarter is here.
32. I hope she doesn’t talk to me. I just want to get my grilled cheese and get out.
33. She’s making eye contact. What do I do?
34. Phew! She was just looking at the day old lasagna behind me.
35. I’m safe. I can be free from social interaction for today.
36. It’s so hot in here.
37. It’s taking a really long time to make my grilled cheese.
38. The sandwich is two pieces of bread with a slice of cheese in the middle. It is not aerospace engineering.
39. Those guys definitely ordered their food after me, and they’ve already been served.
40. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY FOOD FOR TWENTY MINUTES AND MY BODY IS REACHING ABSURD TEMPERATURES BECAUSE OF HOW WARM IT IS IN HERE. HAVE Y’ALL HEARD OF CEILING FANS?
41. Wait, did they just call my name?
42. Because that is not even close to how you pronounce my name. You didn’t even try.
43. That employee is staring me down.
44. I feel so bad that they have to wear visors.
45. I would be irreversibly emotionally scarred from having to wear a visor.
46. Yeah, that’s definitely my grilled cheese.
47. Not gonna lie, this smells so good.
48. Why yes, I will happily treat myself to two chocolate milks with my dinner after surviving this torture.
49. Of course, I’m using a meal credit, sir. Why would you even ask if its meal or plus?
50. I obviously save all my plus dollars for Starbucks.
51. Oh, I have four dollars left to spend on this meal credit?
52. Let me buy all the starbursts!
53. Grilled cheese, French fries, two chocolate milks, four starbursts, no shame.
54. Now how do I carry all of this?
55. I guess I will actually try and eat here today instead of walking all the way back to my dorm.
56. Hey, girl sitting alone at the table across from me. Do not give me that look. Two chocolate milks are acceptable.
57. Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad if they played more on the TV’s than just sports and the Kardashians.
58. These French fries are so good. I want to die eating these babies.
59. How did I end up covered in grease?
60. I should have gone with the pita.
61. Can someone please explain why there is a fountain in here?
62. Fountains are classy. No power in the universe could make VG’s classy.
63. Now that I am happily filled with carbs, I guess it’s time to go study!
64. *Steps outside* I can breathe again!
65. Until tomorrow VG’s.