Anyone who has fallen in love can probably agree that finding love for the first time is a remarkably magical experience. You are naïve… And falling in love is the most overwhelming emotion, but in the best way possible.
Unfortunately, the ups come with downs and love comes with heartbreak. While the feelings that surround falling in love for the first time are passionate, the emotions that come with falling out of love are equally intense.
Similarly to many people, I experienced love in its’ entirety at a fairly young age. Also similarly to many people, I thought our story was infinite and storybook… And for years it was. After undergoing the vast range of emotions that surround falling in (and out) of love for the first time, I learned a few important life lessons.
1. Things that get fixed get stronger.
Heartbreak is no myth—it hurts, badly. Once the wall of naivety that you have built up throughout the relationship comes down, it’s hard to imagine a life without your best friend, your companion and soul mate. Once the realization sets in that the relationship really is a thing of the past, this pain really is the worst. However, overcoming this sadness and anger truly does make a person stronger. These are intense feelings to triumph—and it takes time. But, once you’ve moved on and realize how far you have come it’s pretty astounding. And you will move on…falling in love is a process that is meant to happen and will happen multiple times until you truly have found “the one.”
2. In your sadness, you’ll realize who your true friends are.
Because heartbreak is so overwhelming, it is only inevitable that some people are not going to want to deal with you. It is quite disheartening when you start to realize that people who have relentlessly told you that they will be there for you end up not caring. On the contrary, there will be a surprising few who rise above and come through for you. These are your true friends.
3. Independence brings self-realization.
After being in a long, fanatical relationship like one with a first love, it is a difficult transition to being single. At first, the feeling of loneliness consumed my life. It was hard not to jump into another relationship just out of the sheer fact that I wanted to feel something again that wasn’t just pain. But, looking back now I can confidently say that being alone is good in times like these. Through working through all of the heartache, you grow as a person and learn a lot about yourself. One of the greatest lessons that I learned is that being happy with your life because who you are and your accomplishments rather than the way another person makes you feel is an amazing type of happy.
4. Old memories of your relationship will still impact you.
Through falling out of love I learned that people don’t really mean everything they say, and maybe some moments and memories don’t hold the same value as I thought. I guess I wasn’t really someone’s “one and only” and our love wasn’t actually infinite. However, I soon realized that while I shouldn’t romanticize past memories, there are some moments that can still be cherished. The first time someone told me they love me is something I will never forget—or want to forget.
5. First love will always have a place in the heart.
It is no secret that the easiest coping method is to replicate the romance of your past relationship with a new one; feeling loved is the simplest way to diminish the overwhelming emotion of loneliness. Admittedly, I tried this method. To my dismay, it really didn’t change anything. Sure—whilst caught up in a romantic moment with someone my heart wasn’t really aching, but the more people I started to see and go out with, the more I started to realize that looking to reproduce our love was never going to turn out successful. First love truly is one of a kind—it is carefree and beautiful. You are completely unaware of how badly it hurts to lose love. And for precisely that reason, no one can ever replace them. First love is the discovery of what it truly means to love someone with every part of your being, and for that, I thank them.