Want to hear a scary story? Picture this: it’s a typical Monday night. You’re lying in bed. It’s pitch black outside; the only source of light in the room is the glow of your iPhone 6. You’re scrolling innocently through your Instagram feed, simply minding your own business. Then, all of a sudden, the little orange notification icon pops up. You click on it.
A vaguely familiar-sounding username has liked your picture. You click on the name to get a closer look.
And then it hits you. Remember that guy you were talking to a while back, the one you really liked but who completely ceased all communication with you for no reason whatsoever? The guy you’ve been trying ridiculously hard to forget for the past three months? Yeah, that’s the one. Well guess what? He’s back.
Cue the horror movie music: you’ve just been zombied.
With an assortment of social media platforms and messaging services at our literal fingertips, zombieing has become easier than ever. What exactly is zombieing, you ask? Zombieing is like ghosting, but worse. Ghosting occurs when someone you really care about unexpectedly vanishes from your life altogether – no warnings, no explanations, nothing. The end.
However, zombieing extends the saga a bit further. After months of the silent treatment, the person you were formerly invested in will reappear in your life, and it’ll be ever so subtle. He won’t slide into your DMs, but he’ll like a picture. He’ll favorite a tweet. He’ll send you an inane snap of something completely irrelevant. Or, worst of all: he’ll try to connect with you on LinkedIn.
Ghosting hurts. Being ghosted is a major blow to your confidence; you can’t help but feel like you’re the one to blame for the unwarranted silence. However, the silver lining in ghosting is that it lends you the opportunity to grieve and heal on your own. Once the relationship dies, it’s dead for good. You’re left with no choice but to pick yourself back up and move on with your life. And 10 times out of 10, you come out stronger on the other end.
Unfortunately, zombieing is an entirely different beast. By digging into the grave and reviving an already-dead relationship, the zombie wields the power to reignite those faded feelings. When you see his name pop up on your iPhone screen, you can’t help but get excited. The butterflies in your stomach burst out of hibernation and start fluttering away. This reaction is completely normal; when a relationship dies, the feelings don’t necessarily die with it. Time heals all wounds, but the zombie knows how to reopen that wound and make it sting just as badly.
So here’s the question: is the zombie worth pursuing? Chances are, the answer is no. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s toying with your emotions, and that’s not fair to you. He’s played you before, and he’ll easily do so again. Plus, if his efforts of reaching out to you take place exclusively through pixels on a screen, then he’s definitely not worth it. Unless the interaction is substantial and leads to something greater, it’s your turn to play ghost.
So turn off your phone and get some shut-eye: nightmare’s over. Sweet dreams.