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Why Post-Hookup Etiquette is More Important Than You Think

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bucknell chapter.

It’s no secret there is a pretty prevalent hookup culture here at Bucknell, and the way you treat a person after you hookup with them is more definitive of the hookup culture here than anything else. Like much else surrounding the hookup culture here, lines are blurred when it comes to post-hookup etiquette as well. Things can get awkward after you’ve hooked up with someone, but this comes with the territory. These are the manners your parents never taught you, but that doesn’t make them any less important.

First of all, in the name of being respectful, it should be given as an unsaid rule that if you have had sex with someone, you both have also silently agreed to at least be cordial to that person when you pass him her in the library. And you’re expected to be cordial until the day one or both of you graduates. If you both willingly put yourself at risk of pregnancy and/or STDs (which can still happen even if you’ve used a condom and/or birth control), you owe it to someone to be friendly if you see them again. No exceptions.

Sometimes, though, you find yourself navigating a situation that’s slightly more difficult. Maybe you awkwardly made out someone last weekend and aren’t interested in his sub-par kissing skills coming anywhere near your lips anytime ever again. While you’re certainly not obligated to go out of your way to see him again, if you find yourself passing this person in an otherwise empty stairwell in Academic West sometime, you should at least acknowledge their existence. You’re not obligated to ever hookup with someone you regret ever again, but it’s much better to be remembered as the girl who politely turned him down than the one who overlooked him completely.

Why is this even important, though? Besides the fact that good manners are generally a good trait to have, post-hookup etiquette is definitive of (and reflective of) the hookup culture at our school: if people can find it in themselves to show a slight bit of respect to people they’ve hooked up with, the negative stigma attached to hookups can be greatly reduced. A simple “hi” never hurt anyone. The truth is someone is much more likely to remember if you were rude to them than how good you were in bed.

Lastly, it’s most important to remember that you are not defined by who you hookup with, but you are defined by the way you treat people. It’s often feared that being too friendly or too cold to someone post-hookup will make this person think you’re either more or less interested than you want to seem, but before you worry too much about how you look to this person, remember your good manners first. 

 

Elizabeth is a senior at Bucknell University, majoring in English and Spanish. She was born and raised in Northern New Jersey, always with hopes of one day pursuing a career as a journalist. She worked for her high school paper and continues to work on Bucknell’s The Bucknellian as a senior writer. She has fervor for frosting, creamy delights, and all things baking, an affinity for classic rock music, is a collector of bumper stickers and postcards, and is addicted to Zoey Deschanel in New Girl. Elizabeth loves anything coffee flavored, the Spanish language, and the perfect snowfall. Her weakness? Brunch. See more of her work at www.elizabethbacharach.wordpress.com