Take a moment and think about your sexual script. What do you say to your partner to communicate your likes and your dislikes, your preferences or your fetishes? Do you use both verbal and nonverbal communication? Do you always say what you mean? According to a study conducted in September of 2012 http://www.livescience.com/22934-talking-about-sex-satisfaction.html, communication is incredibly important for having a healthy sex life. The study found that there is a direct link between sexual communication and sexual satisfaction. That is, the more you talk about sex, the better sex feels.
There are some obvious reasons for this. The first is that telling your partner what you like means he or she can do that for you. The easiest way to start this flow of communication is to simply tell him or her what you want. Simple phrases like “I like it when you do that” or “It feels good when…” can be good ways to start the conversation.
Due to the cues we take from the media, there is an expectation of a certain sexual script we must follow. When thinking about sex scenes from movies, a major theme that I see is a lack of verbal communication. The two characters just seem to know each other’s body’s and they are able to have mind-blowing sex right of the bat. However, this is an unrealistic expectation. More often than not, great sex does not happen automatically. Like most things, there is a learning curve. It takes communication and effort to learn what your partner likes and doesn’t like.
On the other side of the spectrum, we get a different sexual script from porn. Firstly, porn stars seem to have screaming orgasms every time they have sex. It is safe to say that this is not a great depiction of reality. It’s important not to let this depiction of sex change your sexual script. Don’t fake an orgasm just because you think that’s what your partner wants to hear. This will only give your partner false cues as to what you actually like.
Another benefit to open communication is that it leads to safer sex. If you are unable to ask your partners about possible sexual transmitted infections, then you are unable to protect yourself. It is important to feel comfortable asking your partner to wear or use protection.
Your sexual script should be open and honest. It shouldn’t be influenced by the lack of verbal communication we see in films, or the falsified screaming ecstasy we see in porn. Your sexual script should be yours and yours alone.
Source: http://www.livescience.com/22934-talking-about-sex-satisfaction.html