Sometimes it’s difficult to comfort a friend in a time of need. You don’t know if it’s better to just offer up a shoulder to cry on or talk their ear off with unlimited advice. If you don’t know what to say you normally resort to the phrase, “If you need anything just let me know…” It’s simple, short and sweet, but does saying it actually help your friend? Do you actually mean it? Does your friend think you actually mean it? Although this phrase is often the go-to phrase that lets your friend know you’re here for them, they might be thinking you don’t want to be bothered by their nonsense drama. When comforting a friend, it is hard to put yourself in their shoes to experience how they feel. Therefore, letting them know you’re here for them sometimes seems like the easy way out. If you’re searching to be a stronger, more supportive and a good go-to friend, try these different techniques on showing them you really care:
1. Reach out the them
When you tell a friend “if you need anything let me know” it makes it seem like it is there responsibility to burden you with their sadness. Instead of telling them to reach out to you, go out of your way to check in on them. At first you can give them their space, but it’s important for you to make the effort to reach out and ask how they are doing. That way they won’t feel as if they are constantly telling you their problems and they’ll appreciate how much you care about them and your friendship.
2. Give them an opportunity to vent
A lot of the time a friend wants to talk more than listen to what you have to say. In this case, be a person that your friend can rely on to talk your ear off about whatever is on their mind. They want to know that you are here to just listen, and offer advice when it is needed. Being the one they know they can talk their emotions out with will let them know you are always there when they need someone to listen.
3. Don’t give advice at all
Sometimes, your friend really does not want to talk about what is upsetting them and it might make you feel hopeless. However, that shouldn’t stop you from letting them know you are always there for them. Whether it’s sending them an ‘I’m thinking of you’ text or surprising them with their favorite treat will be better than any advice you could give, and it gives them space to come to terms with their emotions independently.
So, next time you have a friend in need, think about the situation and try different ways to help. Going above and beyond will prove that you aren’t an “if you need anything I’m here” friend, but a loyal friend they can always count on.