With Halloween right around the corner, things are getting a little spooky. But scary movies and people dressed up in masks aren’t the worst thing you have to look out for this October. With hookup culture running rampant in college and beyond, the dating scene has become scary enough to put even the most elaborate haunted house to shame. With the newest phenomenon of ghosting coming onto our already emotionally disconnected dating scene, there is a serious haunting going on in our love lives.
The phenomenon of ghosting was born from our generation’s lack of communication skills. In this time of “Netflix and chill,” dating apps, and terse text conversations, our methods of breaking up have come to be just as emotionless and devoid of face-to-face interaction as our dating methods. Ghosting has become a popular way to end a relationship because it requires absolutely no contact (or effort) whatsoever. In fact, that is exactly what ghosting is: when one partner decides that they are no longer interested in the other person and ceases all communication with them, without any warning or explanation. True to its name, this abrupt cutting off all communication leaves the ghosted partner haunted by lingering questions and lack of closure.
It is universally accepted that there is just no good way to break up with someone. Be it in person, over the phone, via text, or, the lowest of the low: a post it note (cue Carrie Bradshaw), break-ups are messy, and someone inevitably ends up with their feelings crushed. Yet, in this glorious era of the infamous hookup culture, relationships are not as clear as they used to be, making breaking up even more confusing. Relationships are not always defined in our modern dating culture, and too often we are left questioning what we actually mean to our partners. If you don’t know what you mean to someone—whether you are just an emotionless hookup or something more—what is the protocol on breaking up? If you haven’t actually defined the relationship, is a breakup even necessary?
When talking about ghosting in the context of hookup culture, we have to think about what we owe our partners. No matter what level of emotional connection you have with someone, there always seem to be things left unsaid at the end of a relationship. It’s awkward and painful to say what we are feeling to someone, but when expressing these thoughts we aren’t just confronting our partners, but also ourselves. In reality, it is not just the ghosted partner who is haunted by an unresolved relationship, but also the partner doing the ghosting. By not confronting our emotions, we run the risk of letting our future relationships be negatively affected by the ghosts of our past relationships. Being open and honest with the people you choose to have relationships with, especially when it comes to breaking up, can close that dangerous emotional void plaguing our generation. So we have to decide for ourselves: are we going to be afraid to tell someone how we feel, or are we going to be haunted by the ghosts of the words we didn’t say?