It is almost Thanksgiving, the best holiday of the year. What beats an all-you-can eat buffet of turkey, cranberry sauce, and seven different types of pies? But just as you reach across the table to grab your second…or third piece of pumpkin pie, your nosy aunt’s eyes focus in on you. As you lift up your fork to take that delicious bite the dreaded questions start up. “What are you majoring in? What do you expect to do with that?” or “So, are you seeing anyone? No? Why not?” “Are you sure you are not just picky?” Or for all my seniors out there, “What are your plans post-graduation?” “How come you haven’t found a job yet?” Although the holidays are a time for family and love, it can also be filled with those probing questions we wish we could avoid. Here are a few ways to handle these familiar questions that we all dread.
Make the first move
Don’t wait for your nosy family members to come talk to you. Instead, make sure to go up to them early on in the day. This allows you to keep some control over the conversation. You can also easily pass them off to another family member who they have not seen in months. By reaching out to them first you ensure that you will not be caught off guard later.
Keep them talking
Sometimes it is impossible to avoid your especially meddlesome family members. The best thing you can do as they continue to grill you with questions is to turn the conversation on them. Asking them about their life will take the pressure off you. Often times the most intrusive family members simply want to hear themselves talk. Offer up some short responses to their questions initially, but then start to ask them questions about what is new with them.
Offer to help
If you really want to avoid a nosy relative, lend a hand in the kitchen. Thanksgiving dinner requires a lot of preparation, so extra help is always welcome. You can easily avoid the endless questions about your lack of a love life by helping out the chef of your family. Not only will this move save you from those stressful questions, but it will also get you closer to the food (a definite plus!).
Positivity is key
Ultimately, the best way to handle very intrusive family members is to be honest and remain positive. Tell them that while you may not have a plan right now, you are optimistic about the future. Say steps that you are taking towards getting that job or internship, such as going to the Career Development Center. Being proactive and showing initiative will likely impress your family members. Plus, telling them you are taking these steps may encourage you to actually go to the CDC or say hi to that cute guy in your economics class. Being positive about the steps you are taking to achieve your goals will satisfy your family, and stop the endless questions.
Opportunities are endless
When you are being bombarded by questions that you do not have the answers to, just say that! Smile and tell them that you do not know what your futures. It is okay that you do not have all the answers yet and honestly your family should understand. Now is the time to make our own decisions and see where the world takes us. I know this sounds cliché but it is true! We have so many opportunities throughout college and the future that it is okay not to have a job, or boyfriend, or a definite major just yet. Remind your relatives that this is the time for you to try different things and not necessarily have a definitive path. They will probably reflect for a minute and wish they were in our shoes.
The holidays are the perfect combination of food and family. Sometimes, though, we allow our relatives to make us feel insecure about our current situations or supposed lack of direction. These steps should help you handle these uncomfortable conversations that we are all secretly dreading over Thanksgiving. No matter what, remember that you have an endless amount of opportunities at your disposal. Your relatives would kill to be your age again and to have the opportunities you have. Embrace that your possibilities are endless and answer their questions to the best of your ability. At the end of the day remember, it’s the holidays! Be happy and thankful for your family, no matter how crazy they may drive you!