Despite the stereotype that the best part of the Disney fairytales is the beautiful princess, I find myself drawn to the mysterious and (for the most part) undeveloped characters of the villains. But thanks to the new movie Maleficent that focuses on the backstory of Sleeping Beauty’s wicked witch, we get to dive into the past of one of the greatest untold stories of fantasy. In light of the new movie, which is due for release in May, I revisited the classic animated film and I have got to say, Maleficent is a straight-up boss. Sleeping Beauty is probably my favorite Disney princess movie, (sorry Ariel, but no one’s hair looks like that underwater. Stop being so unrealistic) and I think it might be because of this vengeful creature. I don’t want to know what that means about me in a psychological manner, but maybe after you hear me out, you’ll agree.
First of all, her whole origin of anger is because she isn’t invited to the party honoring the birth of the new princess, Aurora. If you can say you have never been upset about not being invited to a party then you’re just lying to yourself and you need to get off your high horse because no one believes you. Now, according to medieval fairytale lore, not inviting a witch to this sort of gathering is extremely offensive to said witch so I would say her anger is not without cause. However, good old Mal (we’re on nickname terms) handles this with aplomb and wishes to grant a present on the princess anyways.
Now hold your horses before you all argue with me that her present is a horrible death sentence for an innocent kid. Sure, she does command that the princess prick her finger on a spinning wheel on her sixteenth birthday and bite the dust, but let’s think about this for a minute. This is an easily avoidable situation. So the girl never picks up needlepoint. I think the world will continue to revolve if yet another pillow with the words “There’s no place like home” is never produced. And furthermore, the little blue fairy, Merryweather, elaborates on Mal’s gift by saying Aurora won’t die, she’ll just sleep until she receives “true love’s kiss.” Problem solved. Who doesn’t want to take a nap while your true love does all the work for you?
What else makes Mal just rock? Her whole aesthetic. The horns, the cane with the crystal ball thing on top, the creepy raven to do her bidding, the billowing robes of the best evil color combo (purple, green, and black for the win), and the greatest nail polish. Girl, where did you get that red because it is just wickedly awesome (yay puns)? Altogether she is the best-looking villain Disney has come up with, in my opinion. She’s scary but also mesmerizing. When did she have time to get her nails done? And who did it because I don’t think she can walk into the nearest “ye old nail salon” without causing a terror.
Of course, we can’t forget the coolest part, SHE CAN TURN INTO A DRAGON. Can any of your friends do that? I didn’t think so. What a great inner monologue: “That awkwardly hot, animated Prince Philip is managing to get past my spell of thorns? Hold on a sec, let me just TURN INTO A DRAGON and confront him.” Then bam, she’s ready to take on Philip with his sword of truth or whatever it is, all in punishment for not being invited to a party, lest we forget. So Mal and this weirdly attractive animated character man hash it out (he’s hot somehow and I don’t know how I feel about that), all the while standing over a dramatic thorn pit of fire. Unfortunately for Mal, even as a dragon she’s no match for the prince. Philip then runs to Aurora’s rescue and blah, blah, blah they live happily ever after. If it weren’t for Mal, they wouldn’t have such a cool engagement story, so really they should be thanking her.