I’m probably the last person you’d ever expect to identify as “shy.” I have a loud voice that constantly interrupts, I raise my hand frequently in lecture halls and I thrive off sharing my opinions in my Political Science classes. I’m a proud member of Her Campus BU, a choreographer for Dance Theatre Group, Facilities Director for Kappa Alpha Theta, and Vice President of Leadership and Chapter Development for Boston University Panhellenic life.
But I didn’t always have the confidence to step up into these roles. Even today, I often find myself suffering from Imposter Syndrome, convincing myself that one day, everyone will realize I don’t really deserve them. The fact is that I’m good at what I do – or, at least, at pretending that I am. Which is why most people – even the ones who know me best – would be surprised to learn that I view myself as shy.
And maybe the truth is that I’m not shy – not anymore, at least. But for me, being shy is as much a part of who I was as a part of who I am. My freshman year of college, my greatest challenge wasn’t acing my classes or finding places to get involved. The thing I found the most difficulty in as a college freshman was making friends and putting myself out there – until I went through sorority recruitment in February 2017.
Just one short year ago, my life was vastly different from what it is now. I had an editor position at a campus publication that was prestigious, but cutthroat, and it drained a lot of life out of me. I barely had energy to talk to my professors, let alone channel energy into making best friends for life. Some weeks, the only social interaction I had was with the writers on my team, my therapist and the guy in the checkout line at CVS.
My dad is from the South and my mom never finished college, so the only exposure I’d had to sorority life was at big party schools like the University of Alabama and movies like Neighbors 2 (Anyone in sorority life at BU knows how inaccurate these stereotypes truly are.) I had an inkling that I might enjoy being a part of sorority life – after all, I was a Girl Scout for twelve years and had always gotten along better with goal-getting, leadership-oriented women. But I also had my reservations.
What everyone had always told me was that sororities were just for girls who just wanted to party. Naturally, I was worried about what my parents, my friends back home and my boyfriend (whom I’d also met in high school) would think about me adopting this persona: one of a stereotypical sorority girl. But after a chance encounter with one of the chapters’ presidents in a COM computer lab, I learned that sorority life at BU has a lot more to it than movies (and even the deans) might lead you to believe.
So, I paid my $50 recruitment fee, attended the mandatory Open House in Metcalf, and started shopping for dresses and stalking the chapters’ social media online. At the crowded Open House, I struggled to put on a happy face and make idle chit-chat, but many of the chapter women saw how I was feeling and put my fears at ease. Most importantly, I had the opportunity to ask questions about the stereotypes I’d seen and heard about in the media and through friends-of-friends, and quickly found out how untrue all of them really were. Suddenly, I went from a curious girl who had her doubts about Greek life to a gung-ho PNM ready to find her forever home.
Anyone who has been through formal recruitment at BU knows just how long and grueling the process is. In case you don’t know, PNMs spend the entire weekend off-campus at the Marriott talking to chapter women and aching in their high heels. Whenever we weren’t talking, we were sitting – and the first day, when I didn’t realize I would have downtime between parties, made me wish for the first time ever that I was doing my homework instead of lazing around on my butt.
But as crazy-exhausting and emotional as sorority recruitment was (that weekend, I think I spent close to $40 on Au Bon Pain and had more blisters on my feet than hairs on my head), it also had its perks.
On day one (Go Greek! Round), I got to speak to women from all ten of BU’s unique chapters, and learned just how diverse the Greek community is at our liberal university.
On day two (Philanthropy Round), we watched videos about each of the chapters’ philanthropies. I began to grow excited about the opportunities for community service that go hand-in-hand with becoming a Greek woman at BU.
On day three (Sisterhood Round), we learned what it truly means to be a chapter woman here at BU, and what makes each different sisterhood as strong and fierce as they truly are.
Finally, on day four (Preference Round), our selections were narrowed down to a maximum of two chapters and got to be one of a few girls nationwide who experience a small piece of those chapters’ rituals. I vividly remember sobbing my eyes out on the escalator ride back to our holding area after Pref Night in Kappa Alpha Theta, now my forever home, because I felt so relieved to have finally found a group of girls who share my values and wanted so badly to be my friend.
Bid Night in Metcalf was the beginning of a truly transformational journey from where I was in February 2017 to where I am now, in February 2018. As we held the enveloped cards behind our backs (to prevent peeking), I itched to discover which chapter had offered me a bid. The Panhel recruitment team counted down from three, at which point I tore into the bid that is now pinned to my bedroom bulletin board and screamed as I read the words “Kappa Alpha Theta.”
Running home, I didn’t yet realize just how much my Greek family would begin to feel like my home away from home. On Bid Night, I clicked with an older girl with no idea that she would later become my big. I exchanged names and majors with girls I now consider to be my best friends, girls I would do literally anything for – be it hold their hair back after a long night at TITS or cry into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s with them after a devastating breakup.
But my family in Kappa Alpha Theta isn’t the only thing I love about being a part of Greek life at BU. As a part of the Panhellenic Council here at BU, I have the unique opportunity to meet women from all of the chapters here at BU – and while we are all different, there are a few things I’ve narrowed down that set Greek women apart from other women here at BU.
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Scholarship: We value our educations and aren’t just at college for a good time (contrary to popular belief). In fact, on average, Greek women have higher GPAs than non-Greek women do!
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Community service: We love to serve our philanthropies and are passionate about making the world a better place.
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Leadership & ambition: We aren’t content to sit back and let others lead. Greek women love to take charge, and are goal-getters when it comes to their education and career.
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Involvement: And Greek life isn’t the only thing that makes these ladies special, either! The coolest thing about Greek life at BU is that everyone is super involved inside and outside of their chapters, in everything from The Daily Free Press to club sports to Global Health Brigades.
I am so proud to call myself a Greek woman. When I think back on how far I have come since becoming a member of Kappa Alpha Theta, I feel so amazingly grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had as a part of my sorority. I no longer feel like the shy girl who struggled to make friends freshman year. Instead, my sisters help me find my voice and become a better, stronger leader and harder worker. We aren’t competing with each other to succeed, but instead, we want to succeed together. We lift each other up, instead of tearing each other down. And that, to me, is why joining Greek life is the best decision I ever made at BU.
Go Greek at BU! Sorority recruitment is February 16 – 19, 2018. I hope to see you all there!
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