It can be hard to meet guys at BU. Like come on, it’s 60% female, 40% male, and when you split that 40% into men that are gay, men that are taken, and straight men who are actually available, your prospects shrink even more. So us girls are left with only one choice: download a dating app to make meeting bae a little easier.
Honestly, I’ve never been one for online dating and dating apps. It not only weirded me out, but I also heard my fair share of Tinder horror stories. Dating apps just weren’t “my thing.” But for an assignment in one of my classes, I had to understand the thought process of using the dating app Bumble. So I downloaded it and started fooling around with it.
“But what is Bumble?” you may ask. Besides being that weird sponsored Snapchat filter, it is a relatively new dating app that puts the female in control. True, it works like every other swipe-based dating app, but when you and a potential suitor get matched up, only the woman can message first. (However, if you are a female interested in other females and you get a match, either of you can message first). And, a match is only live for 24 hours. If you don’t message the guy, he disappears! So if you accidentally right swipe or find yourself having second thoughts, it gives you some time to think.
Right now, I’ve had Bumble for three weeks and I really enjoy it. At first, it felt weird and forward of me to intiate the conversation, but it’s built my confidence in dating and taught me how to be assertive. There aren’t any mind games, like, “We’ve matched but I don’t want to message him first; if he really likes me, he’ll make the first move.” If you want to talk to a guy, you have to go for it. Step out of your comfort zone—jump off the cliff, you’ll find your wings on the way down. It wasn’t easy for me at first to initiate—I considered my first matches practice and I learned what worked and what didn’t. Honestly, I’ve gotten better at talking to people and went out with three people so far, all of them have been good experiences.
With the power to open the conversation comes the power to steer it. With the way I communicate on the app, I feel I get to know the individuals I’m talking to better. Also, with me leading the conversation, I find most guys make fewer sexual references and are less aggressive. Maybe it’s the kind of guys I swipe right to, but I’ve sensed a pattern. The men you find on Bumble also have a good amount of confidence themselves: they need to be willing to hand the power over to the women to message first. Guys can’t rely on a pickup line, or even a “hey” to get me to talk to them. It’s all my choice.
Also, though the female is initiating, it’s not assumed you’ll make the first move if you want to meet up. If things are going well, either person can propose plans. I’ve asked some people out and I’ve been asked out on Bumble. It goes both ways.
Despite originally downloading Bumble for class without the intention of seriously using it, I have become a big user and absolutely love it. And this is saying a lot, considering I had Tinder-phobia three weeks and a day ago. I may not have found bae, but I’ve spoken to and met some pretty cool people and built my confidence in talking to guys. So even if you’re not out to find a boyfriend, using Bumble definitely makes you a better communicator. I’d say my flirting skills have really improved too!
If you’re still skeptical, the women who created Bumble purposely designed it to be a better dating app for women. So, what are you still waiting for?! Download it now! And Bumble’s social media is on fleek. You have to follow the app on Instagram!