When You’re Bad at the Being Social Thing
Social anxiety. It’s every teenager’s nightmare. Even more so, its every incoming college freshman’s nightmare. In all of the movies you see kids moving in, acting so excited and talking with everyone else and finding instant friends. But when you have social anxiety like me, thats not the case. Meeting your roommate makes you almost as nervous as showing up for your first day of school, and moving in makes your heart race faster than when you see the guy you like. Knowing that you’re starting over from scratch with a new city, new classes, and new people can cause anyone to breathe faster and get nervous. But with social anxiety it feels like the end of the world.
I’m here to tell you that, as someone who has social anxiety, everything is going to be okay. I can tell you that while you may not be best friends with your roommate, they’re nervous just like you, and will say yes when you ask them to eat dinner with you. And maybe you won’t get along with everyone on your floor, but there will be people you instantly click with. And before you know it you will be sitting in the common room until 1 am eating chocolate and laughing until you cry.
Now this isn’t magic. You do have to be open and willing to introduce yourself to that kid you sit next to in chemistry, or say hi in the hallways of your dorm. Even though its a small action, it can mean a lot. Every friendship begins with a simple hi.
I’ve only been in college for two weeks but I can tell you my social anxiety has gone way down. Yeah, I’m still nervous in my huge lectures and when it comes to speaking in some of my classes, but I’ve made some amazing friends here and I know as I get more comfortable things will get better. It’s a process and you need to allow yourself time to adjust.
Finding something you love to do is also a great way to calm your social anxiety because it means you instantly have a connection with other people. I’m part of Model UN and I work in the biology department and it means that I already have a common interest with people to start conversations about. One minute you’re talking about genetics and the next you’re planning to go shopping.
During my first week I was told something that is so true — every freshman is in the same boat and everyone is waiting for someone else to talk to them. I’m not saying you have to start every conversation, but don’t be afraid to just go up and talk to people. I know it can be terrifying but believe me everyone is just as nervous as you.
Just like college is about balancing social and academics, social anxiety is about balance. You need to find the place you’re comfortable with — maybe say hi to one person a day or talk to the other kids on your floor at movie night on Saturday. You need to find a happy medium that satisfies you socially, but that doesn’t make you nervous. I promise you’ll figure it all out if you give yourself time to adjust.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.