On the weekend of October 24th, I traveled to New York with my boyfriend, Isaac, to finally meet his parents. We boarded a bus Friday morning and about four hours later we arrived in the city, ready for the adventure that lay ahead.
Isaac and I have good relationships with our families—we communicate with them on a regular basis and we genuinely care about them. Isaac has video chatted and talked on the phone with my family, and I’ve done the same with his family, but it’s not the same as meeting them in real life. We’ve each interacted with each other’s families in person for a total of maybe five minutes over the course of the year, but these barely count as true meetings. This summer, Isaac came to stay at my suburban home in Rhode Island twice and met my mom, my dad and sister Julie.
I remember when Isaac met my family—I just wanted them to click. I wanted my mom to adore him, I wanted my dad to accept him as a suitable boyfriend for his daughter and I wanted Julie to think he was just as weird and easy-to-get-along-with as I knew he was. And of course, I wanted Isaac to love my family like I love them (okay maybe not quite, but still). Isaac lived up to the expectations and I was so, so, so happy. But in the back of my mind, I knew I’d have to meet his parents and exceed their expectations just as Isaac had done with mine.
As we were approaching our ninth month anniversary (just this past Monday), we both decided we’d been together too long for me not to have spent quality time with his fam. It was necessary for me to meet his mom, known as Mus, his dad, known as Pops, and his younger sister Shelli. So we bought our bus tickets and prepared for our weekend away.
I was really excited and also nervous leading up to the trip. I was thinking up all these ridiculous reasons why Isaac’s family wouldn’t like me. Would it be weird that I have my nose pierced? What would they think of my religious practices? Would they judge me for being a vegetarian? I was so anxious they wouldn’t accept me.
Isaac kept telling me I shouldn’t be worried or nervous. He said they would like me no matter what. Why? Because he liked me, and that was enough for his parents. He said they would accept me because they trusted him and his judgments.
So when we finally arrived in Manhattan that Friday afternoon, we stopped in at his dad’s office and I was greeted with open arms. We did some sight seeing and then traveled back to his East Side apartment to freshen up for Friday night dinner. There I met his mom, who embraced me in a warm hug and welcomed me to the city. Shelli was also there, working on her Spanish homework and so I went in and greeted her too. As the weekend went on, I got to know his family better, laughing at the inside jokes Isaac told me, telling them stories about school and my interests and talking to them about the Jets (even though I know nothing about football). I tried to fit in with their lives and followed Isaac’s comfy and casual lead. I discovered Mus, Pops and Shelli were even better than how Isaac described them.
And Isaac was right—they wanted to like me because he liked me. And they really care about this redheaded son of theirs.
Now some advice for those of you who will need to meet the parents sometime or later (even if there’s no significant other in the picture right now)—if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to meet them, it’s obviously important to him/her. When you meet the parents, be respectful of their space and go easy on the PDA (you don’t want to make them uncomfortable). You might be nervous, but be relaxed. Maybe not all parents are like Isaac’s but I doubt they want to scare you away. They may be protective, but you’re dating their adult child now and so hopefully they’ll be accepting. Although there is no requirement to bring a gift, if you choose to bring one, be sure it’s thoughtful (flowers are a safe bet). But overall, be yourself. That’s who your significant other likes and that’s the person he/she wants to show off to the family.
Just so you know, I had such a great time in NYC with Isaac’s parents and I already am asking to go back (I bug Isaac with this question a few times each day).