Happy (belated) New Year, collegiettes! It’s 2016, a fresh start, and it’s time to get excited about all of the opportunities this year has in store for you.
A lot of the times when we make resolutions, they’re really unreasonable and hard to keep. Like, there is absolutely no way I’m going to go to the gym every single day, nor am I going to give up chocolate or chips (or chocolate chips!) or cut back on Netflix (for those of you who can do any or all of these things, you are a rare and magnificent breed). It can be really disappointing, and sometimes depressing, when February rolls around and you’ve fallen through on your resolution.
We see self-hatred all over the internet and sometimes we feel it deep inside—it’s such a real and destructive feeling. And it can prevent us from living up to our full potential and being the best people we can be.
So this year, instead of setting goals too lofty to keep, and instead of setting myself up for failure, I resolved to love myself more in 2016. I encourage you to do the same! It’s so much more realistic and attainable than losing a million pounds or quitting your favorite foods.
Here are some ways you can carry out your new resolution, and love YOURself in 2016!
Find 3 things you like about yourself, every day.
This is my go-to love yourself exercise: Get up right now, look in the mirror, and tell yourself three things you like about yourself today. Do the same thing tomorrow. They can be simple things like “Wow, I love how my eyelashes look,” or “I love how my butt looks in these jeans,” or more complex things, like “I love how I make people laugh,” or “I love how strong of a person I am.” It can literally be anything. Repeat this exercise every day.
Appreciate alone time…
This is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself, even if you have to skip out on a social gathering or two. Disconnect yourself from social media, unplug, meditate, go for a walk, write in a journal, go to an art show, see the movie none of your friends want to see. This might feel weird or awkward at first, but it’s essential for figuring out who you are and being comfortable with it.
But don’t isolate yourself.
Too much of a good thing isn’t always a good thing. Alone time is great, but sometimes, when you’re feeling super down, hanging out with your friends is a really good idea. It’ll help you relieve stress by taking your mind off things for a while, and that’s always nice. Just don’t only spend time with other people; a balance between the two is exactly what you need.
Do things that make YOU happy (even if they have nothing to do with your major).
Are you a biomedical engineer who loves art? Awesome! A writer who loves to swim? Fantastic! A basketball player who loves to sing? (Troy Bolton?!) It doesn’t matter what you’re doing for your career, it’s always nice to indulge in what makes you happy. It’s really hard to be 100% constantly involved in just one thing, and sometimes it can even burn you out! What are you waiting for? Go try out for that team, audition for that play, or paint that picture!
Find at least one thing to look forward to every day.
My best friend gave me this advice when I was going through some tough times. If it’s only one thing, that’s perfectly okay—even if that one thing is as silly as “they’re serving pancakes for dinner in the dining hall tonight.” It’s little, but at least it’s something. You gotta have something to get you out of bed every day. Soon, you’ll be finding more and more things to look forward to until you don’t have to go looking for things anymore.
Treat yo’ self to something sweet if you’re feeling down.
Now what you consider “sweet” is completely up to you! It can be a sweet like a food or drink, or that cute top you’ve been eyeing on your favorite website. You are worth it, and more.
Keep a journal.
DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES! I’m not talking about all this “Dear Diary… Love, Me” nonsense. Having a journal by your bed is really great if you need to clear your head before bed or when you wake up in the morning. I just started keeping one, and it’s helped me relieve a lot of stress. You don’t have to write a novel in it; start small—start with the things that made you happy that day, your three things you love about yourself that day, or speed vent about some stuff that happened that day.
Watch a movie in your cozy bed.
Those words in the same sentence are literally heaven. Throw on your pj’s, pop on Netflix, and enjoy your favorite movie in your warm, friendly bed. You’ll feel great and super relaxed after.
Be careful of what you’re watching and listening to.
Negativity is all around us—in the news, on Twitter (I’m talking to you Amber and Wiz and Kanye!), and even in songs you’re listening to. These things can really bog you down mentally, so make sure you’re limiting or eliminating negative content and focusing more often on the positive stuff that makes you feel good. If you see people getting into beef on the internet, shut your laptop and take a nap.
Make a power playlist.
Add some Queen, Queen Bey, or whatever you please because YOU’RE a Queen. Throw in any and all songs that make you feel badass, and give it a killer title. Listen to it when you start to doubt your awesomeness, listen in the shower, in the car, at the gym, etc.
Go to bed earlier.
As our great great granddad Benjamin Franklin always said, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a woman healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Studies have shown that going to bed a few hours before midnight and getting a full night’s sleep are a perfect pair when it comes to your health and wellness.
Stop apologizing!!
We don’t really realize it, but women are notorious for constantly apologizing or feeling like we have to apologize for literally the dumbest things (aka everything). Don’t apologize for who you are EVER, especially not for a guy. You are you and that’s the coolest thing ever—own it!!!
Read a book.
The most magnificent thing about reading is that it helps you escape from your daily life, and sometimes it can help you make sense of your everyday situations. I always try to make connections with characters in books to make the reading experience more meaningful. If they’re dealing with a problem in their lives that’s similar to one of yours, you can see how they deal with it and maybe take some tips from them. If you can identify with the main character and the main character is a hero, that can make you feel pretty dang awesome.
Treat your body to at least an hour of exercise every week.
Okay, I know exercise doesn’t sound like a “treat,” but your body loves it. Even if you take a long walk for 15 minutes four times a week, that’s an hour! The gym at your college is free, so go use it! Take a swim, jog on the treadmill, or sign up for a cardio jazz class (I highly recommend it). There are also hundreds of short, easy home workout videos on YouTube.
Find joy in the little things.
This gif about sums that up, I think.
Start being body positive.
Stop constantly looking in the mirror. Stop picking every little piece of your body apart. You are beautiful and smart and have the ability to slay every single day. Instead of focusing on the negative parts of your body, start focusing on the things you like (see: the first tip). If you find that there are some things you want to change, then change them! It’s your body—you have control over it.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
This goes for physical, personal, and mental attributes. It’s just a fact—you are not like anybody else. You will never be like anybody else. If you think about it, oftentimes we compare ourselves to people that are the complete opposite of us, and that’s outrageous! We shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to anybody. The only person we have to compete with is ourselves, because there’s nowhere to go but up.
Don’t let the opinions of others define who you are.
Shamelessly express who you are every single day. If somebody doesn’t like it or doesn’t agree with you, don’t change yourself for them. Compromising yourself for another person is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. You define who you are, and the people who matter will let you shine and encourage you to shine brighter.
Don’t be afraid or ashamed to feel awesome.
It’s not selfish to be proud of yourself, and it’s not selfish to love yourself, and it’s not selfish to think you’ve accomplished good things. You can love yourself and be humble. Don’t be afraid to love yourself.
Never give up.
It’s hard to have faith in yourself and your life sometimes, but you have to know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard they try to blow out your fire, you just have to keep burning. Things will always get better; you will always get better. Life is a rollercoaster, and you have the ability to grow immensely just by getting through the lows to get to the highs.
Listen to your body, heart, and mind.
Pause. Breathe. If your body is telling you that it’s tired, rest. If your heart is screaming in pain, cry. If your mind is pumping with anxiety, relax. You won’t be able to love yourself if you’re ignoring yourself. You might have to make some social sacrifices, but all that matters is whether or not you’re okay mentally and physically.
You won’t love yourself magically overnight—it takes time and work. But the results are amazing and bring you an infallible confidence that you’ll have forever! Your body is a temple, you are a prize, and you are worth it. Your family and friends know that about you, but it’s time you took some time to realize it yourself. I believe in you, collegiettes!