Alriiight, here we go. I am ready to have an amazing workout.
Wow, there’s a lot more people here than I expected.
Yeah, no, random sweaty guy, I definitely wasn’t planning on getting on that machine before you so kindly cut me off.
Ok, I’m on the treadmill, I’ve got my hot new playlist all lined up, and I’m set to run.
I appear to be running at a much slower pace than the person next to me, I can go faster.
Nope. I can’t.
Is this pain in my chest normal? It’s just my body getting warmed up. It should pass soon. Right?
These boobs are really becoming an issue.
Here we go, in my groove and hitting my stride.
Ugh I love this song.
Let’s just check the distance I’ve gone. I feel like I could do this all day.
Not even a mile? That can’t be right.
O crap that guy from my stats class who looks like a Greek god is here. Please do not get on a machine anywhere near me.
Andddd now you’re right next to me. Great.
Play it cool, play it cool. What’s that noise? It sounds like a cow slowing dying.
It’s me. I’m the dying cow.
Thirty minutes is a respectable amount of time on the treadmill. I’ll do a cool down and go do some core.
Thank God I didn’t want to have any personal space while I stretched and did abs.
I wonder what it’s like to be flexible. I should start doing yoga.
Workouts on Nike Fit make me feel like a professional athlete.
Love the burn, love the burn.
Wait, what? People can’t actually do that.
Shut up robot lady, you do mountain climbers for another 30 seconds.
Half way there.
Do guys know how annoying all their grunting is? Like damn, if it’s that hard to lift maybe you shouldn’t be lifting it.
Yes, THROW the weight on the floor when you’re done because that is the correct gym protocol.
I kinda hate the person who invented planking.
I think I’ll pass on the push-ups, robot lady.
Phew. Made it through. How do I not have a six-pack now?
Hey! I see you not wiping down your mat, sir. That is disgusting.
I will now dramatically wipe down my mat to make you feel guilty.
Which cubby did I leave my bag in? O God, someone stole it.
Wait, there it is. False alarm.
Wow, I feel so good now. Elle Woods was right about the whole exercise and endorphins thing.
This feeling makes me want to be a healthier person. I should start eating better. I think I will.
Except my roommate just suggested Domino’s for dinner.
I should probably go to the gym tomorrow.
Maybe.