Turning the doorknob slowly, I brace myself—will she be there or won’t she? The knob opens, and my tension turns to disappointment. Time to face her. I rush in and out of “my” room, exchanging a few books for others. Staying isn’t an option; it just heightens the chance that I’ll have orders barked at me or mean words thrown in my face. I’ll feel judged and ridiculed for doing absolutely nothing wrong. That’s right, the hardest part of my day isn’t juggling classes or cramming for midterms. It’s the stress that comes with living in an unlivable room.
When your days are so packed with meetings, work, and classes, it’s so important to have a place where you can just relax. So what do you do when that isn’t the case? If you’re dealing with roommate problems like I am, it’s time to take charge of your situation. The last thing you should choose to do is live this way because it really takes a toll on your mentality every day.
We’re here to help, here are HCBU’s steps to getting out:
1. Remember that you aren’t alone
Everyone’s had roommate problems. Maybe not to the extent described above, but it’s so easy to get annoyed by someone who’s sharing your common space. Maybe your roommate snores at night, maybe she stays up too late with her lamp on—we’ve all had to ask a roommate to change a behavior like this. Even if it’s just saying “hey, try not to be so loud when you walk in at 5am,” we’ve all been there and you’re definitely not alone.
2. Try talking to your roommate
The easiest way to deal with a roommate problem is to talk it out. If you’re annoyed that your roommate plays music in the room, she isn’t going to know unless you tell her! Sometimes we assume that everyone has the same concept of common courtesy, but at a school with people of diverse backgrounds, that isn’t the case. There’s no use in resenting your roommate for a small behavior that can be easily changed by talking it out.
3. Talk with your RA
If you and your roommate can’t resolve issues on your own without just getting at each other’s throats, go knock on your RA’s door. RAs are upperclassmen trained to help in situations like this. You can use your RA as someone to vent to, someone to give you advice, and even someone to mediate a conversation between you and your roommate.
4. But the problem’s bigger than that?
If your personality clashes with your roommate or you try talking and can’t resolve anything, firstly—welcome to my life. And secondly, as much as you may not want to accept it, it’s time to change rooms. You may be reluctant to move at first, after all you already set up your room nicely, but if your room just isn’t your room, it’s time to move.
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5. The Direct Swap Option
The quickest way to move rooms is by filling out a few of the blue direct swap cards you’ve probably seen around campus. These cards can be hung up in dorms all over campus, so hang yours up and check out the options already available. If you see a room you’re interested in, send its resident an email expressing your interest. You can ask to see their room, or to chat about why they’re trying to move. Proceed with caution here, because you definitely don’t want to end up in another tricky roommate situation. I’d recommend meeting your to-be roommate before making the swap. All 4 residents must agree to the swap either way.
6. The Online Option
There are also resources online for direct swaps. Log on to http://buroomswap.com/ (a new website created by the Digital Media Club) to view posted rooms and to post your own room. This website is basically a virtual version of the boards you’ve seen in residence halls. There’s also a Facebook group within Groups at BU called Housing—join this group especially if you’re interested in subletting an off-campus apartment.
7. Ask BU for a Room Change
On BU’s housing website, there’s a form to fill out stating that you wish to switch rooms before the semester’s over. Remember, more options will be available between semesters (especially for upperclassmen) when some students leave to go abroad. However, the form is worth filling out because you have 24 hours to accept or reject an offer—you aren’t bound to moving.
Fill out the form here: http://www.bu.edu/housing/assignments/changes/requests/change-request/
8. In the meantime…
Although you may just want to avoid your room, let’s face it, we all need access to our rooms throughout the day. Put a smile on your face, and remember that whether one person likes you or not, you’re still a great person! Don’t let yourself be pushed around, and don’t let your roommate try to make you feel bad. If you’re feeling so victimized, chances are you aren’t crazy for feeling this way. So sit tight, and remember, you’re taking measures to take yourself out of a bad situation, and that’s the best you can do!