By the time you’re reading this, I’ll have officially entered my 20s (gasp), ringing in two decades of life on December 4th. Reaching this milestone has given me reason to look back on the finale of my teenage years and reflect on the lessons I learned at 19. I mean, I have to be entering these intimidating, exhilarating, and honestly overwhelming, twenties with some knowledge to guide me, right? To be fair, my friends and family deserve a lot of credit for teaching me most of the things I’ve acquired in my 19 years, and I am inspired every day by the amazing people in my life. But, I’ve also done a lot of learning on my own, and a lot of these lessons are products of the mistakes, experience, triumphs, and challenges I’ve faced over the past two decades. So, as I leave my teens behind, here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Don’t quit a job before you even start.
This past summer I dreaded working 8-hour days for 7 straight weeks at my town’s day camp, so much that I seriously contemplated sending in my resignation before I even put on the staff t-shirt. And you know what? It turns out working at camp became one of the highlights of my summer. So, moral of the story: don’t knock anything before you try, because you might miss out on something amazing.
2. Worry less, live more.
If you know me, you know I’m a worrier. I worry about everything from whether or not there’s going to be traffic, to whether or not my hair is going to frizz in 72% humidity. And yes, I’m aware these things are out of my control. So after 19 years of being anxious about anything and everything, I’ve finally realized that letting go and making the best of whatever comes your way can save you a lot of stress, and potential gray-hairs.
3. Be as adventurous as possible.
This is one of those lessons I picked up from my friends, many of whom are much more courageous than I am. Some of my friend’s have traveled the world, knowing no one but themselves, and bringing nothing but a suitcase, a backpack, and a passion for adventure. I’ve realized that living spontaneously, taking chances, and most importantly, ceasing every opportunity available to you is the best way to live.
4. If your favorite dessert is on the menu, order it.
I used to be, and to some degree still am, super conscious of what I eat and when. When it comes to my sweet-tooth, I’ve often sacrificed an indulgence because I’m worried about messing up my otherwise healthy diet. Even though I still try to treat myself in moderation, I’ve realized that skipping dessert all the time does nothing but leave you unsatisfied. So, if they have my favorite dessert at a restaurant, or even in the dining hall, you can bet it’s gonna be a cheat day.
5. It’s okay to keep some things to yourself.
As someone who often broadcasts every minute detail of my day-to-day life to anyone who will listen, I am no stranger to oversharing. However, I’ve learned from personal experience, that sometimes the things you keep to yourself help you grow the most. Especially when it comes to relationships, outside opinions and advice can often complicate what could’ve been simple. And while I’m not going to stop being an open-book, I might keep a few pages to myself.
6. Good friends are for life.
After almost a year and a half at college, I’ve watched plenty of friends from home drift away. Sometimes communication just wasn’t there, and we would become out of touch with each other’s lives. But those who did stay, the people I rush to see every time I’m back in my hometown, those are the ones who will be there forever. I’ve known one friend, my best friend, since I was 5 years old, and she’s still someone I see every time I’m home, and when we reunite, it’s like no time’s passed at all (well, except maybe that we’re talking about apartments instead of Barbie Dream Houses). Good friends are for life, and having people you know will be there forever is the best feeling in the world.
7. Be confident that you are the coolest person in the room.
Another lesson taken from one of my best friends, the best way to live is striving to be the coolest person you know. And it’s not arrogance as much as it is confidence. After all, shouldn’t you be someone that you would want to hang out with? (Confusing, I know.) But the point is, the more confident you are in yourself and the more you like yourself, the more other people are going to like you. It’s all about positivity and being the person you want to be.
8. Give everyone a chance to be a friend.
If there’s anything I learned from the drama and frenemies of high school, it’s that it’s way better to be friends with everyone. Why waste time and energy battling someone, shutting them out, or simply tolerating them, when you could get to know them, and potentially make a new friend. Most people have more redeeming qualities than meets the eyes, and sometimes it’s the people you thought you would get along with the least that turn out to be your best friends. So open yourself up, and you’ll be excited to see all the amazing people you had never given a chance before.
9. When it comes to friends, it’s quality over quantity.
At home, I have a couple different groups of friends who made leaving for college so hard because I worried I would never find that same tight-knit network when I started over at school. At college, I’ve made plenty of new, and equally amazing friends but have yet to find a core group like the ones I still have at home. At first, I worried that it meant the good old days of having a “squad” were gone. But over time, I realized it’s not the number of friends that matters, but the quality and bond with the friends I have. My roommate, for example, has become my best friend, and someone who I truly can’t imagine not being in my life. So even if it’s just the two of us hanging out on a Friday night, it feels like sometimes that’s all I need.
10. Dancing around your room is the best mood-booster.
Remember middle school, when you would put on a song and dance in front of your mirror singing into a hairbrush like you were in a music video? Those moments of just letting go and jamming out are still the best remedies for a rough week, even in college. Sometimes, after a long week full of homework and late nights, I put on a song and just dance around my dorm room like I’m a kid again. So go ahead, blast some music, take a break from reality and just dance.
11. It’s never too late to pursue your dreams.
As someone who took my first dance class at 14, and then became a competitive dancer for the next four years, I’m the poster child for joining late in the game. I always knew I loved dancing and was determined not to let age hold me back, and I ended up having the amazing experience of getting to compete with a team who became my best friends. I’ve not only learned this lesson from my own experience but my friends, too, who never let lost time or inexperience keep them from pursuing their passion. The truth is, if you don’t try, you’ll never know.
12. Family always comes first.
Being an only child, I’ve always been close to my parents, but moving away from home to a city over 200 miles away, I’ve realized that time with family is so special. This year, I thought it would be the first year I didn’t celebrate my birthday with my mom and dad, which made me nostalgic for all the years growing up when I took for granted my time with them. But, being the amazing parents they are, and with the help of my roommate, they surprised me in Boston. I realized that being with them was more important than any present or birthday party and that they were giving me the greatest gift I could’ve asked for just by being with me.
13. Getting involved is the best way to meet new people.
When I first came on campus, I was so overwhelmed by trying to acclimate myself to college-life, that getting involved in clubs and organizations was not at the top of my priority list. It wasn’t until I went to a sorority open house that I even started to consider being a part of something that could connect me to new people. Well, it turns out that going through recruitment and joining a sorority was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve expanded my social network, and now have people to wave to every time I walk to class. Getting involved and putting yourself out there is the best way to get to know people and make a big school smaller.
14. Schoolwork is not worth the cost of your sanity.
In high school, I was the girl that would all but rip her hair out over homework and assignments. I would stay up all night, cry, stress, and cry some more when I got stressed out by the often overwhelming amount of work I had- because I thought everything had to be perfect. While it’s important to put your best efforts into everything you do, one assignment or test is not worth all-nighters and tears. So, I’ll take the B over the A if it means I have my mental health intact and a few more hours of sleep.
15. Dress for success.
As a lover of sweatshirts and leggings, I’m a huge advocate for a cozy outfit that could double as pajamas. But I’ve also found that I’m definitely more productive and confident when I put on a cute outfit that I can’t wait to show off to the world. A coordinated OOTD with a few chic accessories is sometimes enough to put a little pep in your step and makes you feel ready to stroll into class like a model.
16. Laughter is seriously the best medicine.
There’s nothing that eases my anxieties or stresses more than a good laugh. Whether it’s from watching a comedy show or movie, or a conversation with a friend I find that my motto is when in doubt laugh it out. Making something serious or intimidating more lighthearted by joking about it can relieve a lot of tension and it’s way more fun than complaining. Basically, you can catch me laughing my way through end-of-semester study sessions, because why not make everything a little more fun?
17. Take time away from your phone.
I know this has probably been said a thousand times, and probably more by older generations who didn’t grow up with cellphones glued to their hands, but it’s definitely something valuable I’ve learned. Time spent face to face with friends or family will always beat a text message or a Snapchat, so why waste in-person interactions by being distracted by a phone? Look, cell phones are great and I definitely would struggle without one, but I don’t want to look back on memories where every single person was interacting over social media instead of with each other in person.
18. Don’t ever forget to remind people how much you care about them.
This is something that becomes difficult over time, especially when friends and family are spread out in different states, busy in their own lives. On my birthday, getting texts from people from all different points and parts of my life, from family and friends who I haven’t seen in a while, I was reminded how amazing it feels to be reminded that you’re loved. Sometimes I take it for granted that I have such amazing people in my life, and letting them know that you appreciate them can be a way of telling them thanks.
19. Be unapologetically yourself.
In 19 years, I’ve learned that it is so much easier to be who you are, and not waste time being who you think others want you to be. Like what you like, love who you love, and be the person you are. You’ll find that people are more likely to like the real you, instead of a fake front you put up. In my 20’s, I know I’m going to be unapologetically me because I’m the only one who can be.