Let’s be real, we all love Starbucks, but a lot of customers fear a certain stigma – that their drink orders reflect their personalities. In some cases this may be correct, but at the end of the day, it’s just a beverage that tastes good and no one should judge you for that. However, we are here with a self-proclaimed Starbucks addict and a certified barista to tell you what your order says about you.
Passion Tea Lemonade
Customer: You want to look and feel artsy AF.
Barista: You probably just got over ordering frapps, but we don’t even mind because PTLs are so easy to make. Try adding a few pumps of raspberry to spice it up!
Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher
Customer: You can’t stomach a Redbull or Monster.
Barista: Thank you for reading the menu and branching out. There are other flavors, though, so give those a taste as well.
Mocha or Caramel Frappuccino
Customer: You need to reevaluate your life.
Barista: If it is under 35 degrees or you complained about needing a “jolt of caffeine” before ordering this, please see yourself out.
Hot Chocolate
Customer: Why? It’s so overpriced and you can get it somewhere else for a dollar.
Barista: We are honestly so sorry, because the majority of baristas make this wrong. When made correctly, Starbucks hot chocolate is delicious.
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Customer: You’re a fall type of person and you accentuate the season with this delicious drink even though you’ll get sh*t for it.
Barista: We are sorry that all of society calls you basic. You seriously get way too much flack for this one. All baristas, even if we roll our eyes when you order, enjoy a PSL here are there, and thus do not mind when you order it. So drink up, because you can only get it for a few months a year!
Cottton Candy Frappuccino
Customer: You’re 12.
Barista: You’re 12.
Blonde Roast
Customer: What even is that? I don’t even know if this is supposed to be fancy or not.
Barista: Honestly just go to Dunkin’ at this point.
Green Tea Frappuccino
Customer: You wanted your seaweed facial to be recycled into a drink to save the planet.
Barista: On the bright side, you have good taste. On the dark side, we have to make a Frappuccino to advertise how delicious matcha powder is. Try an iced green tea latte with soy milk instead!
Skinny Vanilla Latte
Customer: You’re trying to watch your weight by drinking 400 calories.
Barista: You’re basic. This is literally just flavorless sweet coffee.
Vanilla Bean Frappuccino
Customer: You probably said you needed to get a caffeine boost to survive the day, but then ordered something with absolutely none in it because you completely misunderstand the concept of your drink.
Barista: Here’s your milkshake!
Doppio
Customer: That sounds fancy! *Finds out it’s just 2 shots of espresso* That sounds painful!
Barista: We feel you, creepy old Italian dude.
Secret Menu
Customer: You are way too into this whole Starbucks thing and have too much time on your hands.
Barista: Secret what? Sorry, we have no idea how to make that.
Bottled Water
Customer: You’re probably thirsty.
Barista: You realize you’re paying two bucks for something we give out for free, right?
Cappuccino
Customer: Isn’t that just milky coffee?
Barista: *heart eyes emoji* You’re probably a hot boy with good taste, and therefore we will try and get your foam perfect. We appreciate you.
Venti Half-Caf 2 Pump Hazelnut 2 Pump Cinnamon Dolce Skim Latte No Foam with 1 Equal, Extra Hot
Customer: What.
Barista: UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH (But makes it perfectly, quickly, and hands it to you with a smirk because we nailed saying the name correctly on the first try).
Not sure what any of this meant because Starbucks overwhelms you? Read here how to order!