As girls, we have definitely all been asked before what our “number” is (also known as how many guys we have slept with in our lives leading up to this moment). Boys think they have some right to know our number even if we have expressed no interest in knowing theirs. We have the right to withhold this information from anyone we don’t want to share it with and it is completely a personal choice. On the flip side, a lot of girls want to know a boy’s number before she gets involved with him. When it comes to relationships, a lot of couples put this on the table as one of the first questions they ask each other. What people don’t realize is that some girls just don’t want to know the boy’s number or share their own.
No boy should judge a girl for how many people she has slept with and the same goes for a girl looking to date a boy. Some girls simply do not care or think it matters to the future of a relationship at all. To other girls, it has a great impact.
So what if you found out they’ve had sex with 7 or 25 or 2 or 13 girls? Now what do you do with this information? Should red flags come up if they say a really high number or a really low number? To some people, sex just doesn’t have meaning or isn’t special and to some people it means a lot.
Many people have different opinions on this topic so we decided to ask around to find out what they really think about it:
“I mean, I think as long as they’re clean and not hiding anything and haven’t hooked up with any of my friends I don’t think I would care that much.” -20, single
“So I would say yes, it matters in my opinion. If they’ve been with an excessive amount of people, they probably aren’t one to commit easily and aren’t the type of person who will want to be tied down for a long time. Also, I have multiple times heard from guys that will ask about the number of guys a girl has been with, and they will not date a girl who’s been with a ton of people. So shouldn’t it go both ways?” -21, taken
“I personally wouldn’t want to know because then I would feel obligated to share my number and my number is a little too high for sharing… even if he said he wouldn’t judge or he doesn’t care, deep down he definitely would care or it would be in the back of his mind. All the guys were in the past before him, so it shouldn’t matter” -22, single
“Even though the past is the past in my eyes, I would want to know how many girls he had slept with, not to judge him but to find out how experienced he would be.” -21, single
“What’s a nice way to say no? Unless he was a thot before me then all I care about is the number of STDs he has.” -21, taken
“I wouldn’t care about the number but I would care about the reason. As long as the reason their number was high or low only reflected personal preference and not disrespect for women, and as long as they wouldn’t judge me for my number, I wouldn’t care.” -20, single
“I don’t think it matters, but I’d definitely be curious to know.” -19, taken
“I would want to know, but it would not affect my opinion on them. I think it’s something you should know when you get in a relationship with someone.” -21, single
“I like to know how many girls a guy has slept with. I don’t think it would seriously impact my judgement of the guy, it’s just about building trust and honesty early on in the relationship.” -20, taken
“What’s in the past is in the past, I want a fresh start!” -21, single
“Personally, I think it’s important to understand your partner’s history, you don’t want to become invested and then find out something you don’t necessarily like. But I don’t think the number really matters in most cases. Frankly I’d be more nervous about a guy with a really low number because most of the time it means he’s been in really serious relationships and that’s more threatening than a one-night stand.” -20, single
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!