What are “Sunday Blues”?? It is a term for regrets that you may have after a drunken night out. My older sister passed that title on after my first “I am never leaving bed or showing my face on campus again” Sunday morning rant to her. I found it appropriate for how I was feeling, and after that day it just stuck. And now I pass it on to all of you.
So let me just start this by stating that the questionable, obnoxious, slutty, stupid decisions you make on drunken nights do not define you. “You ain’t rushing for love, and I ain’t up here to judge.” So let’s all be honest with each other and admit that we have made a “few” choices, after more than a few too many drinks, that we won’t be writing home about. Thankfully, your parents will never know about most of these drunken sex-capades… which is absolutely for the best. Now that my college career is coming to an end, I find it necessary to share the recovery advice learned from my personal experiences and the many, many experiences of my shit show (used as an endearing term) friends that will help you move the hell on from your Sunday Blues.
Cue my remixed Maroon 5 Sunday Blues theme music…
“Sunday morning, head it pounddddding. Share some details with your friends. Vodka clouded moments, now they’re so regrettable. I cringe when I recall the mess that I’m in.”
Yikes! Is right. You probably did call that girl who sleeps with the boy you’ve never spoken to but refer to as your “boyfriend” a whore when she walked by. You probably also made out with the guy you’ve repeatedly told your friends that you are NOT interested in AT ALL. You definitely gave multiple strangers your number and told a girl you don’t really know the entire story of your last relationship. If you didn’t wake up in a stranger’s bed or covered in cuts/ bruises, then this may be considered a successful Saturday night for you! Buttttt, you still may regret a couple of the events that took place. No need to fret, tomorrow is a new day! Bryant University gossip lasts about as long as free condom samples in the Roto. Everyone else will forget about your drama way, wayyy quicker than you will… because honestly, it is not that important to anyone but YOU. Do not make issues bigger than they have to be, I promise someone on campus did something much more embarrassing, slutty, or drunken than you did. Bryant is a competitive campus, and most likely your Saturday night decisions were not the winner.
So on Sunday morning as your friends share details from the night before, you reread text messages, and your memory returns in fragments… grab a water and recite after me.
1. Your Sunday Blues are yesterday’s news
2. You’re still going to get hired after college, Bryant students have more drinks AND more knowledge
3. One day I will find a balance between a whore and a bore, but for now I’ll keep practicing while I drink some more