My roommate and I, we like boys. They’re exciting, fun to talk about, fun to dance with, and fun to kiss. There’s little that can compare to the excitement of the first text or accidental run-in with a new crush. However, the issue is: we also hate boys. They play games, get our hopes up, and then vanish, or they blatantly hook up with another girl in front of our faces. It’s hard to pinpoint why boys affect us so much. Is it our young hearts that naively hoped we might be his one and only, or is it our self-esteem that still stands a little wobbly while we continue adapting to college?
Anyway, my roommate is fed up with boys. She is fed up with their immature and all-too-predictable patterns. Because of this, she has become “a reborn virgin.” She knows that, in a literal sense, she can’t actually become a “reborn virgin.” It’s a metaphor, and metaphors are important! When I asked her why she was so determined, she told me that she couldn’t keep feeling this bad. She explained that boys really toy with her emotions and drag down her self-confidence, which has repercussions on her day-to-day mindset and attitude. So, my roommate decided to embrace the empowered woman she knows she is and cut boys out of her life. Initially, I thought she was overreacting.
Then I thought about it, and I realized that even if it was just for a short while, I have felt the exact same way. I’ve asked myself the exact same question: why does he have so much power over how I feel and how I value myself? In fact, I think this is something almost all girls can relate to. For my roommate and I, these feelings have been substantially heightened in college. Is it the extra vulnerability we feel as we adapt to a new environment, make new friends, and search for our place? It’s interesting to think about how going to college has affected both boys’ and girls’ attitudes toward love, dating, and even the casual hook-up culture. From what I have observed and experienced, it seems like us girls are much more emotionally vulnerable in new relationships, while boys present an enhanced sense of aloofness that may or may not be genuine.
Either way, it got me thinking. I’ve decided that I disagree with my roommate. While there are many ways to handle the situation, for me, the answer is not to become a “reborn virgin” and cut boys out of my life. By staying away, my roommate is only perpetuating the power boys have been holding over her. Instead of staying away, I choose to put myself out there and have fun.
The answer is not to re-baptize myself as a virgin, but to crown myself as the queen I am. Bow down, gentleman.