The Haunted Mansion: A Few Happy Haunts

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Don’t close your eyes and don’t try to hide, or a silly spook may sit by your side, shrouded in a daft disguise they pretend to terrorize grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!

Here lies the funnies of this eerie attraction….

The Tombs outside the Attraction Say:

  • Good Friend Gordon, now you’ve crossed the river Jordon.

  • Dear Departed Brother Dave, he chased a bear into a cave.

  • Here Lies Good Old Fred, a great big rock fell on his head.

  • Here lies a Man Named Martin, the lights went out on this old Spartan.

  • In Memory of our Patriarch Dear Departed, Grandpa Mark.

  • Requiescat Francis Xavier, no time off for good behavior.

  • Dear Sweet Leota, beloved by all in regions beyond now, having a ball.

  • At Peaceful Rest Lies Brother Claude, planted here beneath this sod.

  • Mister Sewell, the victim of a dirty duel, Peaceful Rest.

  • Here Rests Wathel R. Bender, he rode to glory on a fender Peaceful Rest.

  • In Memorium Uncle Myall, here you’ll lie for quite a while.

  • Master Gracey Laid to Rest, no mourning please at his request…Farewell.

  • RIP cousin huet we all know you didn’t do it.

The Crypts outside the Attraction Say:

In Spiritual Response….

  • I lal Lushinashun

  • Bea Witch

  • Hap A Rition

  • Manny Festation

  • Metta Fisiks

  • Clare Voince

  • Wee G. Bored

  • I. Emma Spook

  • Paul Tergyst

  • C.U. Later

  • Dustin T. Dust

  • Asher Y Ashes

  • MT Tomb

  • Hail N. Hardy

  • I.M. Ready

  • Love U. Trudy

  • I. Trudy Deui

  • Rusty Gates

  • Pearl E. Gates

  • Rustin Peese

1440/ Blue Beard. Here lieth his loving wives:

  • Penelope – died 1434

  • Abigail – 1435

  • Anastasia – 1436

  • Prudence – 1437

  • Pheobe – 1438

  • Eugenia – 1439

  • Lucretia - ….

Seven winsome wives. Some fat, some thin. Six of them were faithful. But the seventh did him in.

Popular Characters of the Haunted Mansion attraction:

  • The Hitchhiking Ghosts; Phineas (the Traveler Ghost), Ezra (the Skeleton Ghost), and Gus (the Prisoner Ghost).

  • Madame Leota

  • Hatbox Ghost

  • Constance Hatachaway (the Bride in the Attic).

  • Master Gracy

  • Ghost Host

About The Author

I like to read, hangout with friends, and just take life into account to make it worthwhile no matter how much how crazy it seems.