In the semi-dark haze of flashing lights and pounding music that is a frat house basement, many dangerous situations go unnoticed. Every year about 237,868 people are sexually assaulted, and two-thirds1 of these people previously knew their attacker. The fight to educate and end sexual assault is a community issue that requires the participation of each and every person to be won. Being an upstander means fighting for the safety of others any chance you get. It means doing something even when you think someone else will, doing what is in your power to keep someone safe, and knowing that you had an impact on someone’s life when you take action. Our frustration with the administration is valid and justified, but part of the fight against sexual assault is in our hands. Here are a few tips to get you started on having an impact and being an upstander:
Trust your gut
When you first see something going on that may need intervention, you may doubt whether you are misreading the situation or not. It can sometimes be difficult to be 100% sure about a situation, but go with your instinctual reaction. People do not act the same way around those they are comfortable with and those they are uncomfortable with. If something stood out to you in the first place, there is probably a reason why.
Act
It’s one thing to recognize that a situation needs intervention, and it is another thing to act on it. One of the biggest obstacles bystander intervention faces is the fact that many potential-upstanders believe someone else will “do something”. The problem is that if everyone thinks this, nobody acts. If you have reasonable concern for the safety of someone in the vicinity and have the power to act, act. Being an upstander can require fewer than five minutes. It’s as easy as striking up a conversation or getting someone away from a potential threat. Here are a few ways to intervene on behalf of someone’s safety:
1. If you know them- “Hey! Can you come outside for a second? I have to talk to you.”
2. If they are an acquaintance- “Hey, are you in Econ80? Can I ask you something about the homework really quick?”
3. If they are a stranger, anything goes- “Hey! I think someone is looking for you over there” or “Hey, how are you? Wanna go get some fresh air?”
It may sound a little weird to go up to a random person and chat them up, but what you’re doing is intervening. If they are uncomfortable and were hoping for a way out, you’re giving it to them. They will be grateful and play along, and you will have prevented a potentially harmful situation from happening.
Know you made a difference
It will be easy the next day to forget what you did the night before or second-guess your actions. “Oh, nothing was going to happen anyway, I overreacted.” There is no way to know what may have happened if you hadn’t intervened, but standing up is better than backing down. When you make the decision to intervene, you are part of a small group that has taken the fight against sexual assault into their own hands- and everything you do has an impact.