What could George Clooney and Brad Pitt, Joey and Chandler, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, Sam and Frodo and Bert and Ernie possibly have in common? They range from real men to mythical characters to puppets. They all however share one common bond, arguably one of the strongest bonds in existence––each pair is completely, one -hundred percent wrapped up in a ‘bromance.’
We’ve all seen famous male friendships in movies like I Love You Man, Wedding Crashers and Superbad, but how does the portrayal of male friendships in these films stack up to the real thing?
Over winter break, I had the unique, eye- opening and sometimes frightening experience of sharing a house with nine guys for a weekend–– a massive ‘bromance’ in action. I went into the experience a bit nervous, being the only girl; I was worried that my weekend would be filled with Call of Duty and conversations about fantasy football, boobs and facial hair.
It would be a complete lie to say that my expectations were fully wrong, but I was definitely surprised at times, and I think we can all learn something from the art of male friendship.
If one thing is for sure, it is that men don’t typically sit around as a group, the way women do, sharing their deepest feelings. To be honest, that girl you met in the bar bathroom who let you borrow her Chapstick probably shared more personal information with you in five minutes than guys do in a whole weekend. They might not be physically or emotionally expressive, but I believe guys draw just as much or even more support from their friendship than women.
According to The Wall Street Journal, researchers say women’s friendships are face to face: we talk, cry together, and share secrets. Men’s friendships are side by side: they go to football games or watch shows together. Their conversations deal with the doing of things rather than the feeling of things. But it’s a mistake to judge men’s interactions by assuming they need to be like women. The Wall Street Journal also found that men often open up about emotional issues to their wives, mothers, sisters, and female friends–– an indicator that men compartmentalize their needs; they would much rather turn to their guy friends to escape from their problems.
If I learned one thing from my weekend ‘with the boys,’ it’s that no matter how much they relentlessly make fun of one another, they always have each other’s back. Whether it’s giving advice about wearing a single or double-breasted pea coat for optimum steeze (yes this happened), or playing wing man for a friend at a guy’s own expense, in the end, the boys always come first.
Dr. Geoffrey Greif, a professor at the University of Maryland’s School of Social Work, found that 25% of men in his study had a negative impression of women as friends, citing issues such as “cattiness” and “too much drama.” He also found that women are more likely to hold grudges toward friends. Interestingly enough, although we open up to each other more easily and more regularly than guys, it seems that in the end female relationships are often much more fake and drama filled than those shared between our male counterparts. It’s not to say that real girls have “Burn Books” and that rules about how many days a week a ponytail is considered socially acceptable. However, I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been gossiped about, and have been guilty of doing the same to a friend.
If we can look past the video games, fantasy sports leagues and mac and cheese eating contests, we could all learn a little bit from our brethren from Mars. Let’s take everything a little less seriously, cut out the fake and have drama free fun #forthegirls.
Photo credit:
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