Why It's Okay To Fall Out of Love

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It happens. One day you’re together; you breathe the same, move the same, work the same. They compliment you and hug and kiss you and it feels good, and things are right. They’re your best friend, and you can’t get enough of them. They’re what you know-they’re all you know. You depend on them for everything and you can’t imagine not telling them everything.

But one day you wake up and you realize you’re kissing them and there’s no spark. They say you’re beautiful and your heart doesn’t do a flip. You’re okay being away from them; you don’t wonder when you’ll see them next. You don’t talk to them for hours and think nothing of it. You find strength and dependence from other people in your life.

It doesn’t feel the same as a couple months ago.

And that’s because you’ve fallen out of love. You stopped, in a way, caring. And that’s not your fault. I recently went through this and I felt terrible for so long because this person had done nothing specific to deserve me breaking their heart. There was no build up to the break up. There was no triggering event.

They ask you what they did wrong and you can’t answer. Because it really wasn’t them, it was you.

For me, it was going to college. I met literally hundreds of new people, joined a sorority, and made friendships that I love. I became independent, confident, responsible, and realized what I wanted in a person and in a relationship. It eventually seemed evident that the one I was in was wrong for me.

I was only used to him and us, but I wasn’t in love with him anymore. Coming to terms with that took a while, but when I did I realized I can’t stay in something I’m not happy in anymore just for the sake of his happiness. I still think highly of him and still consider him one of the best friends I’ve ever had, but I had to make the differentiation between a platonic relationship and a romantic one.

It may be selfish but relationships are something you can be selfish with. Do what you feel. Do it, and don’t question it. Especially not at this age when we have so many opportunities and so much life to live ahead of us. Life is too short.

I hope this article has given some insight into an occurrence in a relationship that you may never have experienced, or one that you one day might face. People fall out of love. It’s a thing. Relationships end over tons of things and falling out of love is just as valid as any other reason. Just remember it’s okay to feel this way, and it’s okay to do what’s best for you.

About The Author

Pranjal is part of the chapter team at Her Campus; she is a freshman studying Philosophy, Politics, and Law at Binghamton University. When not dorming at school, she resides in Albany, which is upstate to everyone who lives in New York City but not actually that upstate. When Pranjal has down time, she enjoys watching One Tree Hill and The Office. She eats a lot of ice cream. She's also very obsessed with dogs- if there is a dog, she's petting it. Her dream is to be a lawyer living the American Dream in a state with a year-round warm sunny climate. If you want to hear more- follow her twitter @pranjjjpatel !