People say that graduation is a bittersweet ending to a new beginning. But for me, it’s really just been bitter. I can’t say that I feel super confident about my future because admittedly, I’m scared out of my mind. I’ve grown accustomed to this college life that’s slipping away from me as we speak.
I sincerely thought that I’d be in college forever. Just like in kindergarten, I thought I’d live in this utopia of crayons, finger painting, lettered magnets, and recess. But it’s over.
How did that even happen?
I can recall my first day as a freshman so vividly as I was rudely greeted by one of my roommates who would actually turn out to be one of my best friends. Each day after that seemed to go on so slowly. The seniors at the time looked so old to me. Like grown ups. I wonder if that’s what I look like to current freshmen because to me, they look like babies.
It’s funny to think transferring was ever a thought in my mind. I hated this place when I got here. I spent a lot of time crying, missing my mom, and complaining about the color green. None of that has changed. I still cry a lot but it’s usually from laughing so hard about the things my friends and I did the night before. I still miss my mom but I’ve gotten past the whole needing her to tuck me in at night thing. Oh and I still hate the color green just not on Parade Day.
These have without a doubt been the best four years of my life. Seriously. I’d do it all over again if I could. I’ve watched my friends fall in and out of love and even played matchmaker to a few withstanding relationships. In the meantime, I was busy having crushes on literary theory TAs, professors that are obviously too old for me, and guys in lecture hall whose names I will never know. I met my best friends here. You know, girls that are more like sisters I’ve never had and boys that torture me but make me laugh uncontrollably.
Most importantly, I’ve gotten to know a very important person in my life. Me.
I had a few good friends in high school but I don’t think they ever really knew me. No, not drunk me, though I’m sure they were surprised to see me taking shots like a champ on my 21st birthday. Just me. The person I’ve always been but never really showed to anyone.
Because of the friends I’ve made here and the professors that have encouraged me to write whatever I felt like writing, I was able to find myself. In doing so, I figured out how weird I am but that my weirdness is OK. I laugh too much, I drink more than most sane people, I fall in fake love way too easily, I think I’m a princess and sometimes a rapper, I’m overly honest and overly friendly, and I’d much rather it be 12 degrees outside than 80. But I like being weird. We’re all a little weird, aren’t we? Some more than others, but weird nonetheless.
It’s all about to get a whole lot weirder, too. The future? That’s weird. But weird can be good.
I know I’m going to miss people watching from my downtown apartment, going out on a Tuesday because State Street is just around the corner, trying to get out of class early so I can catch the blue bus before the driver that brakes every five seconds starts his shift, making awkward eye contact with people on campus that I deemed my new best friends while at the bar over the weekend, and just the general feeling that I can do whatever I want.
I mean what is my life without my stupid friends, their awkward boyfriends, Tom and Marty’s, Ryan Vaughan’s classes, and Jazzman’s chocolate chip cookies?
I guess I’m about to find out.
I’ve realized that it’s normal to feel sad about graduation and to already miss so many things about college. But we’re all still so young and already have a good start to the “real world.” Hey, we’re graduating. We’re going to have fancy degrees and stuff. How cool is that?
We have a lot more time left in this world so we can’t believe that our best years of life have already passed because this was only a small period of time in our lives. There’s so much more ahead of us.
Saying goodbye to these amazing people and amazing years will be the hardest part. I get all teary-eyed just thinking about it. So I’m not going to say goodbye. It seems too definite. I’m going to go with “see you later.” There’s potential in that.
So, see ya later Bing. It’s been real.
P.S. I totally stole that from a movie.