Diary of a Downtown Girl: He Likes Me... He Likes Me Not

So this was my first weekend out in a really long time. Maybe not that long but it felt like it was months. I decided to take it easy this weekend and ease myself back into my partying ways. Just kidding. I partied with the best of them.

All in all, it was a really great weekend. Nothing super dramatic occurred and Jenny found herself what appears to be a potential boyfriend. Ooh la la, I’m so happy for her. She deserves a nice boy. But it’s starting to feel like everyone I’m surrounded by is suddenly in a relationship. I kind of hate it. I’m selfish that way. Aren’t we all though? It’s bittersweet when our friends find love because we obviously want them to be happy but whenever someone enters a relationship, they more often than not end up greatly distancing themselves from their friends. I’m not really the relationship kind but even I wouldn’t mind having a nice guy around from time to time.

I should probably rewind a little bit. You’re going to hate me for keeping you in the dark but DT Girl has kind of sort of been shacking up with a certain someone. And by “kind of sort of” I mean I totally have been hooking up with this guy who we’ll call Aidan (just because I love the name). This has been going on for quite some time now. Almost a month, actually. In case you were wondering, yes, this is the same guy I lost my V-card to.

As I said before, a significant number of my friends have recently entered relationships leaving me friendless and quite lonely. Especially during the weekends. So I figured I’d give Aidan a shot. Turns out he’s a pretty cool guy. Besides being super cute, he makes me laugh and we surprisingly have a lot in common. I think it’s safe to say I like him. I’m just not sure how much. Though I do find myself wanting to kiss him like 24/7, I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more than a hook up buddy or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself. 

I think I’m scared to admit to myself that I like him a whole lot more than I’m leading on. But we all know how well things went with the last guy I liked. Not so well... I pretty much wasted almost two years misreading signs that he just wasn’t that into me, and that was after reading He’s Just Not That Into You. But if the movie version of the book taught me anything, it’s that somewhere out there is the exception. The Justin Long to my Ginnifer Goodwin. And that is why that movie sucked. It makes you angry about love and men and then even after all that, still expects you to be trusting in the fact that love is still out there for you. But whatever, that’s besides the point.

Back to Aidan. At first, I was totally fine with just being a for lack of better term, “booty call,” for him. Plus, he was just as much my booty call as I was his. The last time we hung out was different though. We talked a lot about a bunch of different things and even watched a movie for a while. He was weirdly cutesy and for a few brief moments, I felt actual romantic feelings towards him. Alright so it was longer than a few brief moments. It was the whole weekend and it’s still developing now I guess. I think about him now when I shouldn’t be. Or maybe I should be. I just don’t know. You would think that after watching No Strings Attached or Friends With Benefits (I forget they were two different movies) that I would know that these types of situations don’t work. Feelings always, without fail, come into play on at least one end. As of right now, I know it’s coming from my end but maybe, I don’t even know it and he has some feelings too.

I don’t want to get my hopes up and I hate talking about this because it makes me nervous and a little nauseous. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m extremely apprehensive to allow myself to like him so I’m trying not to rush into this. Plus, winter break is right around the corner and we’re about to go over a month without seeing each other because we live far apart. It’s hard to believe that we’ll be able to pick up where we left off once the spring semester starts after all that time passes by. I guess I’ll have to just go with it for now. Ugh. Why can’t life ever be simple?