My first year at Belmont was full of anxiety, stress, tears, and breakdowns. But it was also filled with laughter, smiles, new friends, and memories to last a lifetime.
When I came to Nashville in August I was a ball of anxious energy and fear. I was over 300 miles from home living with people I had never met. I was the first of the 3 people in my room to arrive on move-in day. I was welcomed by a rowdy and hyper group of upperclassmen outside of my dorm ready to help me with my things. I still remember the butterflies beating away in the pit of my stomach as I unpacked my suitcases and boxes. When would the other girls arrive? Would they like me? How would I survive here all on my own?
Spoiler Alert: My roommate situation didn’t turn out perfect. At the time it seemed like the end of the world. I thought that this would mean loneliness and a new roommate to get to know. But in the end, it worked out better than I could have ever asked for. My roommate now is one of the best people I have met since starting at Belmont. We get along great and I hope we will be friends for a long time. I finally feel comfortable and free to be myself.
Classes were stressful and time-consuming to say the least. For a while during second semester I had a breakdown at least twice a week. It got overwhelming and there were days I felt my self falling into a depression that made it hard to get up in the morning. Despite the phone calls to my mom at midnight crying because I felt like I couldn’t focus on my assignments, I got them done. I finally declared my major and minor in the Spring and met with a new advisor. He was amazing and understood my passion for books and literacy. We talked for an hour about where I saw myself after graduating and how he would help me get there.
First semester was a pretty lonely time for me. I wasn’t great friends with my two roommates, and my social anxiety kept me on the outside of every conversation. I felt isolated and honestly pretty miserable. I couldn’t help but miss my old friends and family back at home. No matter how hard I tried it was torture to put myself out of my comfort zone. Once second semester rolled around I was in a better living situation and this put my mind at ease. I had at least one friend, I could make more. Little did I know, my new roommate would be the one to pull me out of my bubble. We went to the Nashville Women’s March where I met three other phenomenal and talented women I am happy to call friends. I’ve gone to concerts and festivals. Things I never thought about doing before.
All of these things: Roommates, classes, friends. They weren’t easy and I have no doubt I will still struggle with them at times, but the problems I had didn’t last. People sometimes ask me why I believe in God and this is a perfect example of why. No matter how bad things are, they do get better. I believe that He watches over us and has a plan for everyone. He challenges us to make us stronger, but also to make us believe in ourselves. If I had given up I wouldn’t have all that I do now. A great roommate, amazing friends, and an amazing future to look forward to. My first year in college was not even close to perfect, but that’s okay. I know that God has a plan for me and I am finally learning to let go to see what’s in store.
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