If you don’t know who Jenna Marbles is, today is the best day of your life. No, seriously. I’d cut her face out and put it on a popsicle stick so I could pretend we’re friends, if that weren’t frowned upon, of course.
Jenna Marbles (her real last name is Mourey) is a 25-year-old blogger, and a new genre of famous person known as “YouTube personality.” A New York native, she attended both undergrad and grad school in Boston, which makes her that much better (in one of her videos, she makes it a point to “cry over her Masters degree”).
None of these facts are that important. The glory is in her YouTube videos. In fact, you probably shouldn’t read any further before watching one of them, but then you’ll be hooked for hours and won’t finish this article. Proceed.
I forget exactly how I found out about Jenna Marbles (such is the Internet, I suppose). But I’m pretty sure she’s a satirical genius. Her videos range from rants about daily observations, imitating painfully true scenarios both sexes between the ages of 18-30 can relate to, and even the occasional impersonation of a famous person (see “Pitbull Is Sad”).
I don’t know why this girl hasn’t gotten off the blogosphere and onto Comedy Central.
The Classics
These are the must-see videos, the ones I generally associate with Jenna Marbles.
The video that first caught my attention, and presumably the one that made Jenna Marbles famous, was “How to Trick People Into Thinking You’re Good Looking.” This hilarious satire defines the harrowing process girls undergo to get ready, including “abusing your hair” (the perpetrator: a flat iron).
Jenna Marbles shows the “importance” of a super trendy purse in “How to Get Ready for a Date.”
Perhaps my favorite video of Jenna’s (are we on a first name basis yet? I hope so) is a little gemstone called “How to Avoid Talking to People you Don’t Want to Talk to.” Sometimes, unwanted suitors don’t get the hint. You might be out at a bar with your girl friends when a stage-five clinger (who clearly lacks understanding of the term “girl’s night”) latches on to you. As Jenna puts it, “I do not want your junk grinding all up on my ass. We do not know each other. This is all happening so fast.” Her advice: strike him with The Face. Upon first seeing Jenna Marbles demonstrate The Face, I wept for days. I forced all my friends to see the video, and I attempted to recreate The Face myself.
The masterpiece itself.
The key to success when employing The Face tactic is steadfastness. “Now the trick is,” Jenna says, “you don’t say anything. The whole time. You stay there – frozen.” I haven’t encountered a situation where The Face would be necessary just yet, but I eagerly await the day.
Newer Ones
These are some of Jenna’s most recent videos (like wine, she only gets better with time).
With her continually growing fame, Jenna Marbles often takes requests or shares videos from her personal life adventures, such as her recent trip to India (“Oops I’m in India”). Her more recent videos include a comic recreation of what we girls do in front of the television, “How Girls Watch TV.”
Her video “Things Boys Don’t Understand about Girls” covers some serious topics for those of you gentleman who feel out of the loop. Why do we take so long to get ready? Because that’s half the fun of going out, according to Jenna. I couldn’t agree more. Getting ready is a sacred process. And like any holy routine, it takes time to do your makeup, take a bubble bath, re-dye your hair, model for your friends, write a short story – you know, usual stuff.
Ladies, make sure you check out the opposite side of this conundrum – “Things Girls Don’t Understand about Boys.”
I wish I could explain. I really do.
Another favorite of mine is Jenna’s rant on “What Bitches Wear at the Airport.” Self-explanatory. She berates the pseudo-celebrities who might as well be wearing chainmail. We’ve all seen them struggling to make it past the metal detectors. As Jenna says, “Nothing says ‘I have an IQ lower than 45’ quite like wearing six-inch f***ing heels to the airport.”
Some other Jenna video’s I’d recommend (laughs guaranteed):
“What Girls Do When They’re Drunk”
“What Dogs Do When You’re Not Home” (drink, apparently)
“What Disney Movies Taught Me” (the main goal in life should be “to find a f***ing prince and marry him. The end.”)
“What Girls/Boys Do in the Bathroom in the Morning”
Kermit wreaking havoc while Jenna is out – now THAT’S a party animal.
As if these topics weren’t enticing enough for you, Jenna’s two precious dogs, Mr. Marbles and Kermit, are frequent guests in her videos. I urge you to discover your own favorites, and I apologize in advance for this new (or for some, familiar) source of procrastination.
MR. MARBLES!
You can check out Jenna Marbles on her Youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/JennaMarbles?feature=chclk. Be on the lookout for her new videos every Wednesday.
Photo Sources:
Screen shots from her YouTube videos:
http://www.youtube.com/user/JennaMarbles?feature=chclk