A Letter To My Fellow Classmates

I consider myself to be a strong woman, one who is in control of her life. So how did I become victim to a statistic? How did I become the “one” people talk about when they say one out of four women will experience sexual assault? 

 

Here’s what happened to me: I had too much to drink one night at a party and agreed to go home with a guy I was friendly with, assuming I’d be in safe hands. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I remember saying no and not reciprocating his affection. Most of all I remember feeling trapped. Between the alcohol and his body weight, I couldn’t get out from underneath him. I remember him touching me, me saying no again, and feeling unable to keep my eyes open. I lost consciousness and when I regained it he was underneath my clothes. He stopped when he sensed I was awake and I fed him an excuse so I could leave immediately. As I walked home, I was confused and all I could think about was how much my body hurt. I slowly began to realize what happened as I sobered up and it was a tough realization. I was sexually assaulted by someone I knew well and the damage from it was deeper than just the bruises on my body. 

 

There are incredible support systems for victims like me. The trick is finding the one that’s right for you. In my case, it was the support from my friends, especially my male ones that made all difference. These people were pivotal to my recovery and the reason why I’ve never stopped feeling safe or happy on campus. I’m undefeated after this experience, but I know that I’m neither the first nor the last person that will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. If it doesn’t happen to you personally, I imagine at some point in your life you will know someone who has been a victim of it. So here’s a challenge for my classmates: Think about what you can do to support your friends if they’re sexually assaulted. You can’t always control the actions of others, but you can control how you respond. The hardest thing for victims like me is to talk about the assault because they’re unsure how people will react to it. Not talking about it though only puts others at risk because too often people think it won’t happen to them. If we as a Bates community are more vocal in our stance against sexual assault, more perpetrators will be reported and less people will fall victim to a statistic. I stand strong today because of the people who stood with me. There will be some bad eggs wherever you go, but how will you be the person that makes all the difference? 

 

It’s going to take an army to fight sexual assault. I ask you to enlist in the discussion. 

 

Sincerely,

 

Bobcat