When I told people I would be attending college in Manhattan, the most common response was a look of concern with zero attempt at hiding it. This was followed by a warning: I would need to “toughen up.” Everyone seemed sure that my bubbly, optimistic sensitivity would be absolutely wrecked in this city. I tried to brush it off, laughing a little and telling myself I wouldn’t need to change who I am to thrive here, I wouldn’t harden or lose my sweetness. However, after hearing the same thing from so many, their concern started to spread to me as well. Was I too trusting? Too vulnerable?
I’ve been in New York City for a few weeks and it has been a big adjustment from my sheltered, slightly-crunchy California county. As the novelty wears off, my fears have lessened and my faith in my ability to tackle this city with a goofy smile remains. Growing up, I’ve always been a big believer in the idea that if you put love into the world, you’ll get it back. This city isn’t changing that.
To everyone who is still concerned: I am being safe and aware. Yet I’ve learned I don’t have to expect the worst in everyone. I’ve had too many positive interactions to count; from a mom in CVS helping me pick out light bulbs, to a man getting off the subway next to me and cheering me on for attending Barnard. If I approach people with love, they’re usually open to receive it.
This isn’t to say that everyone on this island is a ray of sunshine; the truth in that is sometimes draining. This dark spot is where my grandma steps in. She texted me the other day to remind me of two tools I use to keep myself glowing and grounded.
First, there is the golden cloak. Whenever you have two minutes to think, whether you’re on the subway, waiting for class to start or just hanging in your room, imagine yourself coated in light. It’s a protective cloak which keeps all the energies of the city away from you, combating any stress or negativity. I find that taking a second to breathe and imagine myself safe and clear, keeps me balanced and feeling strong.
The second tool is useful when you’re showering. Imagine the water cleansing away all of the emotions that don’t belong to you. Let yourself rinse off the worries and hostility of others, allowing it all to go down the drain. Replenish yourself with the energy and love of yourself or any higher power you may believe in.
These are two quick, easy meditations that I find really helpful. It’s hard to stay positive when you feel completely overwhelmed, so as you get used to living in the city or going to new classes, take some time to yourself. It’s hard to love on others if you feel like you have nothing to offer. Wear the golden cloak, replenish, and repeat!