*This article should be read to the tune of Justin Bieber’s “Sorry”, the unofficial anthem of Anchor Splash.*
Every year, hoards of Columbia students must learn where Uris Pool is, for the express purpose of watching “hunky” fraternity men dance it out for a good cause. In a post Magic Mike XXL era, the boys of CU Greek life had to pull off the choreo of a lifetime to impress an audience of sorority women, curious freshmen, supportive brothers and miscellaneous ab stans. Between the hours of 9:00 PM and 11:00 PM on Sunday night, in the 115 degree sauna that is Dodge Fitness Center had it all. We’re talking everything from Beta boys dancing to Britney and heavyweight rowers in ballet skirts. Most importantly, the event raised thousands of dollars for Delta Gamma’s national foundation, Service for Sight.
We sent our trained team of undercover FBI operatives (aka: Frat Body Inspectors) to do some on-scene spying. Oh and imma let you finish Sig Ep, but KDR had the greatest Anchor Splash choreography of all time.
Overheard:
“That’s going to be my next boyfriend! He looks like the kind of guy who would never text me back.”
“Let me remind you: they’re wearing cotton.”
“Is this the gym?”
“Probably should have checked that they could swim before sending them into this relay.”
“…How many more groups are left?”
“What is a budgy smuggler?”
“He has a cute booty for a conservative…I would tap it despite our differing political views.”
“Sig Nu should be disqualified for being too good at swimming.”
“We do not listen to this song enough!” *Ciara’s “1, 2 Step” blares over loudspeakers*
“Does this dance routine include…slapstick comedy?!”
“I hear this frat is having a renaissance.”
“This Sig Ep cheering section is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”